A Collection of Aggie Jokes - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Gatorade Frost · 01-13-2006, 11:58 AM

Here's a small collection of Aggie Jokes I found that tickled my funny bone:

Quote:

How do you sink an Aggie submarine ?
Have a frogman knock on the hatch.

Quote:

2 Aggies were attending a friend's funeral. While viewing the body one
Aggies says to the other, "Gee, he looks pretty good!"
The second Aggie replies, "He should, he just got out of
the hospital yesterday."

Quote:

How many Aggies does it take to change a flat tire?
Just one . . . unless it's a blowout, then they all show up!

Quote:

A student from Texas A&M, a student from The University of Texas, and
a pig were in the hospital waiting room, each awaiting the birth of
his firstborn. Suddenly, the lights went out. Fortunately, power was
restored shortly thereafter and the head nurse made her way to the waiting room.

"Good news and bad news, gentlemen and pig," she announced. "Despite
the electrical outage, two healthy young boys and one healthy piglet
have been delivered. "However, since the lights went out at the most
inopportune time, we aren't sure which firstborn belongs to whom. The
only way we know to resolve the problem is to draw straws and have the
winner choose first."

The three proud papas agreed, and the Longhorn won the drawing. He
was escorted into the delivery room and looked at the three newborns
for a painstakingly long time. Finally, with head bowed, he scooped
up the
piglet and headed for the door.

"Sir, are you quite certain that you've made the right choice?" the nurse asked.

"No, I'm not," replied the Longhorn. "But I just couldn't take the
chance of choosing the Aggie."

Quote:

An Aggie scientist is doing experiments on a frog, trying to find out
the effects of cutting its legs off.

The Aggie saws the first leg off and says, "Jump, frog, jump." The
frog jumps five feet. The Aggie makes a note: With three legs, frog
jumps five feet.

The Aggie then saws off another leg and says, "Jump, frog jump!" The
frog jumps one foot. The Aggie makes a note: With two legs, frog jumps
one foot.

Finally, the Aggie saws off the last foot and says, "Jump, frog jump!
... Jump, frog jump! ... Jump, frog jump!"

The Aggie scientist makes a note: With no legs, frog goes completely deaf.

Quote:

"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged Aggie as he set
the man's broken leg.

"Well, doc, 25 years ago ..."

"Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."

"Like I was saying...25 years ago, when I first started working on the
farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful
daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I
wanted. I said no, everything is fine. "Are you sure?", she asked.
"I'm sure," I said. "Isn't there anything I can do for you?" she
wanted to know. "I reckon not," I replied...

"Excuse me," said the doctor, "What does this story have to do with your leg?"

"Well, this morning," the Aggie explained, "when it dawned on me what
she meant, I fell off the roof!"

Quote:

Two Aggies are driving to Houston. The driver suspects his turn
signals aren't working. So he pulls over and asks his passenger to get
out and check. So the guy checks and yells to the driver, "No, they're
not working. Wait, yes they are. No, they're not. Hold it, yes, they
are."

SirLance · 01-13-2006, 03:12 PM

I love aggie jokes!

Quote:

Two Aggies go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One Aggie turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

The other Aggie says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

then there's...

Quote:

An Aggie, a Baylor Bear, and a Texas Longhorn need some money. So they decide to rob a bank.

They rob the bank and then hear the cops coming, so they hide in the woods.

The Baylor Bear climbs into a tree, and when the cops come by, he shakes the branches and makes bird noises. The cops think it's just some birds, so they go on.

The Longhorn climbs into a tree and shakes the branches, and the cops think it's a squirrel, so they go on.

The Aggie climbs into a tree. The cops hear some rustling and they say, "What was that?"

And the Aggie goes, " Moo! Mooo!"

Gatorade Frost · 01-13-2006, 03:40 PM

Oh shoot! I forgot to put my favorite two on there:

Quote:

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, I know a great Aggie joke. You want to hear it?" The bartender says, "Well, before you tell it I should probably tell you that I went to A&M. And you see those two big guys sitting next to you -- they were linebackers for the A&M football team. And those two guys on your other side -- they're Marines, and they used to be in the Corps of Cadets at A&M. Now, are you sure you really want to tell that Aggie joke?"

The guy thinks for a second. "I guess not," he said. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

Quote:

What is the difference between the Aggies and Rice Crispies?
Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

Mantus · 01-14-2006, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gatorade Frost

Oh shoot! I forgot to put my favorite two on there:

That a burn. Can set the whole campus on fire with that one. Very sweet.