The Aristocrats : WARNING! THE DIRTIEST, MOST DISGUSTING JOKE EVER TOLD
 

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

Immediately the father removes his clothing revealing a massive penis fully erect. The daughter goes over and places his balls in her mouth as the massive cock continues to grow. The mother removes her clothing and the son begins to suck on her pussy. She moves over toward father, who is cock slapping the daughter so hard she has a bloody nose, and brings out a large funnel.
The tip is about a half an inch in diameter and the shaft about 8 inches long. While the daughter eats the balls, Mom shoves the funnel into dad's cock hole. She then backs up toward it while the son continues to munch on her twat. She squats over the funnel and releases a huge torrent of diarrhea.
As she fills the funnel, dad's balls begin to swell, soon the size of large coconuts. Mom yanks out the funnel and shoves it down the son's equally impressive member. Once again she sends a river of runny shit into the funnel swelling the son's nuts to the size of casaba melons.
Once done She starts furiously sucking on the son's cock while the daughter does the same to dad. The both suck hard, deep and fast until both cocks spew forth a tremendous fountain of come and diarrhea. Mom and sis take the massive loads in the mouth slurping down almost every vile drop. What they don't eat the faithful dog does, licking the floor clean. As the father and son finally finish there horrific display, mom and daughter stand up and wipe their mouths and reveal twin shit eating grins, They all in unison look at the agent and say, "Taa Daaa!"

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

Now understand, the words in RED are the base of the joke, and the words in green are basically sick, disgusting improv.

The documentary "The Aristocrats" is about this joke, and it is told by several big comedians.

You can see other (and really sick) versions of this joke HERE

Or you can check out the website of the movie itself HERE

I went and saw the movie last night. It was awesome, but you feel really bad for laughing.

If we were allowed, it would be funny to do our own versions of The Aristocrats here in the Humour thread.

Have a sort of competition...

A competition to see how disgusting one can be? :rolleyes: I'm thinking no... we're not in junior high :)

There is a competition, at the Dead Frog website that I linked above.

A local competition, just on TFP? I would rather you guys go see the movie.

It isn't about the joke, it is about the culture and history of the joke, about how each comedian makes it different.

As a matter of fact, there was one performer that said this:

(/ben paraphrasing) It isn't about the punch-line. The punch-line isn't all that funny. It is about the journey. How far can you take your audience? In today's age of bottled sit-coms, what do you have?

Set-up, Punch-line
Set-up, Punch-line
Set-up, Punch-line
Set-up, Punch-line
Oh, look at that funny situation. This joke is the antithesis of that. This flys in the face of comedy, and really shows what you can do if you let yourself get into it.

If you want a competition, let me save you the time and trouble. Clavus wins.

It is absurdist comedy with a healthy dose of discomfort. This sort of comedy is rarely about the punchline.

Oh, so sorry, GRANDMA!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: I'm just kidding.

Well, it's disgusting, I'll give you that, but the truth is I don't get it. I haven't seen "The Aristocrats", so maybe some one could fill me in?

SirLance, I posted a review in Tilted Entertainment as well;

CLICKY

I think I'll have to see the film. The joke just isn't funny. The Aristocrats? There's no relationship between the punch line and the joke. I get it that there isn't supposed to be, that the object is to see how far you can go, but what is a joke without a punchline?

I guess I'm just a stodgy old fart.

Well there's slight humour in that aristocrats are meant to be noble upstanding indvidiuals , and partaking in obscene acts is meant to be ludicrous and hence funny - a stab at the upper class?
I saw this originally done on south park and found ti quite funny. I heard about the documentary recently and didn't know about then history of the joke so it should eb interesting. However seeing heapsof versions of the joke could get tedious; especailly when they normally involve similar topics of beastiality, paedophilia, scat, incest etc.

The joke itself is the joke. The listener is the punchline. What they did with the movie is create an entirely new mythology. There's no real way to tell (unless you're in on the whole ordeal) if the mythology existed before the movie or not. So in effect the movie may be the joke.

It's similar to Andy Kauffman and Jerry Lawler "hating" each other in the late 70's. Memphis still hates Andy Kauffman. But the entire thing was fake. Some people thought it was hilarious; others not so much.

Personally, I don't think the Aristocrats is comedy at all … more like performance art. Keep in mind that not all art is pretty flowers in vases or stark high contrast black and white photographs of landscapes. If the goal of art is to make the observer start talking and thinking about the world in a different way then they've certainly done that to a modest degree.