Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-25-2005, 11:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
Searching for the perfect brew!
 
Brewmaniac's Avatar
 
Night Befo Crizzmus


I wish I would had this last night! Enjoy!

Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin' and dey be sleepin' damned good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat dear ole Santy Claws, gunna brang us our check.

All of da family, was ly'in on the flow,
my sister wif her gurlfriend,
and my brother wif some hoe.
I dun passed out on da flow too,
right next to my baby's maw,
when I heared such a fuss,
I thunk...."Sh'eet, it must be da law".

I looked out thru da bars, to see what I'ze could see,
I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.
But what did I see, made me say,
"Laaawd look at dat".
dere was a huge watermelon,
pulled by 8 big ass rats.

Now over all of da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha's, got a black Santy tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats,
as he called dem by name.

On Leroy, On Jerome, On Virgil, On Willy,
On Yolanda, On Crayola, On Kiesha, and Nefilly.
Ol' Santy landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho', da damnest thing I ever seed.

Dat black Santy didn't go down no chimney,
he picked da lock on my doe,
an I sez to myself, "Sh'eet...he don dis befoe.
He had a big bag, full of presents I spect,
wif Air Jordans and fake gold, to wear roun my neck.

But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windoe he flew,
I sho' woulda chased him, but he snagged my knife too.

He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, dat son of a bitch.
So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a shit !!!!


Merry Christmas!
__________________
"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"
Brewmaniac is offline  
Old 12-25-2005, 12:49 PM   #2 (permalink)
Psycho
 
optik_nerve's Avatar
 
Location: Florida
Haha, I love ebonics.

Good find.
optik_nerve is offline  
Old 12-25-2005, 12:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: louisianna
hilarious,thanks brew!!!
mazak is offline  
Old 12-26-2005, 05:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Ha! That one made me laugh. Tanks!
Slippery Slope is offline  
Old 12-26-2005, 11:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Cookeville/Mt. Juliet, TN
Lol, that took me twice as long to read than normal.
__________________
Skin-tight jeans
Hair dyed red
Ruby lips
Smokey eyes
She's the mask
For your masquerade
AlmoundJoy18 is offline  
Old 12-27-2005, 06:47 AM   #6 (permalink)
Rookie
 
Gatorade Frost's Avatar
 
" On Leroy, On Jerome, On Virgil, On Willy,
On Yolanda, On Crayola, On Kiesha, and Nefilly."

I laughed out loud on Crayola.

Good stuff.
__________________
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Emo Philips
Gatorade Frost is offline  
 

Tags
befo, crizzmus, night


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:47 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360