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12-25-2005, 11:03 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Searching for the perfect brew!
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Night Befo Crizzmus
I wish I would had this last night! Enjoy! Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood, everybody be sleepin' and dey be sleepin' damned good. We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck, dat dear ole Santy Claws, gunna brang us our check. All of da family, was ly'in on the flow, my sister wif her gurlfriend, and my brother wif some hoe. I dun passed out on da flow too, right next to my baby's maw, when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, it must be da law". I looked out thru da bars, to see what I'ze could see, I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me. But what did I see, made me say, "Laaawd look at dat". dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by 8 big ass rats. Now over all of da years, Santy Claws he be white, but it looks like us brotha's, got a black Santy tonight. Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came, and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name. On Leroy, On Jerome, On Virgil, On Willy, On Yolanda, On Crayola, On Kiesha, and Nefilly. Ol' Santy landed dat melon, right there in da street, I knowed it fo' sho', da damnest thing I ever seed. Dat black Santy didn't go down no chimney, he picked da lock on my doe, an I sez to myself, "Sh'eet...he don dis befoe. He had a big bag, full of presents I spect, wif Air Jordans and fake gold, to wear roun my neck. But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit. He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit. Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windoe he flew, I sho' woulda chased him, but he snagged my knife too. He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch, and waz gone in two seconds, dat son of a bitch. So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git, 'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a shit !!!! Merry Christmas!
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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" |
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12-27-2005, 06:47 AM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Rookie
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" On Leroy, On Jerome, On Virgil, On Willy,
On Yolanda, On Crayola, On Kiesha, and Nefilly." I laughed out loud on Crayola. Good stuff.
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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well." Emo Philips |
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| befo, crizzmus, night |
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