How To Tell If You Are A Grinch

[maleficent]

1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)
2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)
4. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)
5. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.
6. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).
7. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.
8. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)
9. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car)
10. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).
11. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points)

Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.
20-30: You are just a cheeseball.

30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.

50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.

[maleficent]

Part II

You Might Be A Scrooge If...


* You turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carollers away.

* You buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.

* Your favorite Christmas ornament depicts Santa Claus shooting a moon.

* Your favorite Christmas movie is "Jurassic Park".

* Your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson.

* You get your Christmas Tree from a rest stop at night.

* You think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie.

* Your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log.

* Your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, brandy, and bourbon.

* You use your Christmas Club money to buy wrestling tickets.

* Your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin.

* Your favorite Christmas tradition involves a bonfire and reindeer meat.

[barenakedladies]

* Your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin.


heeeeeeeeeeey... i resemble that amount