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Old 06-03-2003, 12:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
Banned
 
Location: central USA
Beverly Hill Bobbits

You need to sing this to the tune of Beverly HiIllbillies…

The Beverly Hill-Bobbits

Come listen to a story 'bout a man named John,
A poor ex-marine with his little wanker gone.
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.

Penis, that is.

Clean cut.

Missed his nuts.

Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
Tossed him out the window as she went around a bend.

Curve, that is.

Tossed the nub.

In the shrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
They called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.

Found, that is.

By a fence.

Evidence.

Now peter and John couldn't stay apart for long,
So a dick doc said, "Hey, I can fix that dong!"
"A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need"
And the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny pee'd.

Whizzed, that is.

Straight stream.

Even seam.

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court,
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came upshort.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape.

Video, that is.

Unexposed.

Case Closed.

Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now , ya hear?????
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Old 06-03-2003, 12:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
Poo-tee-weet?
 
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Location: The Woodlands, TX
lol

im pretty sure i dont have to worry about ariekitten doing that... she likes it too much...

Penis, that is.
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Old 06-03-2003, 12:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
will always be an Alyson Hanniganite
 
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Location: In the dust of the archives
O.K. That was just plain funny. Though I have to admit that hearing the name Lorena Bobbit still causes a sudden desire within me...to cross my legs.
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Old 06-03-2003, 12:56 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Clearwater, Florida
That just happened again in Germany.....ouch
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Old 06-03-2003, 02:33 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Oregon
LOL... I cannot even imagine how much that must hurt. I heard about that european case today too... YIKES
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Old 06-04-2003, 08:25 AM   #6 (permalink)
so many men...so little time.
 
Location: Bellingham
funny!
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