itch vaccine

I can't believe I laughed out loud at this... either I have a weird sense of humour, or it is really funny!

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There was a Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.

The Englishman was thinking : "The Scottish fella must've kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead."

Claudia Schiffer was thinking : "The English fella must've tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it."

And the Scotsman was thinking: "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make that kissing noise and slap that English bastard again!"

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"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein

healer

Nice one

Is that a Stanton STR8-150 I see in your avatar?

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Martian

Ahh, one of very few jokes here that actually made me laugh out loud. I don't do that often.

It's mostly because I'm scottish and can appreciate the sentiment.

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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

zz0011

Funny joke.

Better signature.

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10th sig ~> "How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms?" -- Aristotle

aphex140

like it most scots will !

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Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila.

[/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE]

redsfan11

I like it. LOL.

CSflim

Hahahaha. Great!

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