BAMF

Mike walks into a bar and sees the only customer is plastered at the bar. Ordering drinks like it is going out of style, and having a blast...by himself. Mike takes a seat and in no time this guy introduces himself as Clark and buys a round.

Later in the night the bar is getting full of people. Clark is still throwing money around, buying round after round.

Mike says, "I feel great"

Clark looks at him and says, "Do you want to see something crazy?"
Mike readily agrees. Him and Clark step outside and end riding an elevator up to the roof of an adjacent building.

At the top of the building, Clark says, "It is a windy day, and if you jump off right the wind carries you back to this roof."

Mike, buzzing but not stupid, "Bullshit"

Clark than walks to the edge and jumps and falls.

Mike immediately says "Oh Shit". Thinking Clark was plastered and stupid, and now he would have to find someway to explain himself out of this mess. Mike sobered up in an instant.

A moment later Clark comes floating back on to the roof. He says, "The updraft always picks up about 40 feet down, the trick is to flatten your body out when you want picked up". It was windy.

Mike can't believe his eyes, he has to try this. Moments later mike is freefalling down the skyscraper.

SPLAT.

Clark walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, "Superman, you are an asshole"

itch vaccine

OMG It's Clark Kent?!

I'm surprised no one replied to this, it's hillarious

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"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein

soul_wisdom

Superman, rocks!

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“Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so”

attr. Bertrand Russell

dlish

i loved this one....bout time someone realised supermans evil side.

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Darklight Adept

I like it better with the punchline I heard it with originally:

The bartender says, "Superman, you really are an asshole on your days off." (Or Somethign to this effect)

Stiltzkin

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know that's a childing response but... LOL!!!!!!!

FoolThemAll

The punchline I heard: "You're an asshole when you're drunk, Superman."

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I wonder if we're stuck in Rome.

BAMF

Yeah, I heard it before as well, but I think I may or may not have serached for it. Obviously, I didnt write it down when I heard it the first time, I just remembered the punch line and added some details.