12-09-2005, 04:54 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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Twas the Night Before Christmas (A Story for the Scrooge in all of us)
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter, They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money? And the kids these days--they all are the pits They want the impossible--Those mean little shits I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them, They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM! Flying through the air...dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment. There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason, I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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12-09-2005, 06:36 AM | #2 (permalink) |
Getting it.
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
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Funny...
One question... why would the IRS be after Santa? He doesn't live in the US and isn't a citizen of the US? Those greedy bastards are trying to ruin Christmas.
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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke |
12-09-2005, 06:41 AM | #3 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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Quote:
Don't ask me to explain the jokes -- just take them for what they are...
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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12-09-2005, 07:14 AM | #4 (permalink) | |
Devoted
Donor
Location: New England
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I think I found the followup...
Quote:
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Tags |
christmas, night, scrooge, story, twas |
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