12-05-2005, 03:13 AM | #1 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: northamptonshire
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Old Folks Home
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge
around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximumspeed on the long corridors, shouting "Vroom, Vroom!" and making believe she wasonce again driving her car on the freeway. Because the poor woman was onesandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of them actually joined in to help her live her fantasy. One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched "STOP! Police!" he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK"he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Police! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster, and held it up to him. Harold nodded, and said, "Carry on, ma'am." As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, with a very sizable erection. "Oh, good grief," cried Ethel, "not the Breathalyzer again!"
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Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila. [/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE] |
12-05-2005, 03:18 AM | #2 (permalink) |
Free Mars!
Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
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Can old people have "sizeable" errection?
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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war |
12-05-2005, 05:51 AM | #3 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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Quote:
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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12-05-2005, 06:22 AM | #4 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: northamptonshire
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Quote:
__________________
Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila. [/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE] |
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12-05-2005, 03:00 PM | #5 (permalink) |
Searching for the perfect brew!
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Posted 2 or 3 times already. Thanks for posting, but please check search, not just you, I go to post and find them in search all the time. Sorry i'm such a crab, I know it's just a joke.
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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" |
12-06-2005, 11:12 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
Free Mars!
Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
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Quote:
__________________
Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war |
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folks, home |
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