Deathbed Wish - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

AVoiceOfReason · 11-26-2005, 09:44 PM

Dan, a successful banker, was dying. He called three of his best friends to his bedside, an accountant, a minister and a lawyer. "We've known each other since we were boys," he began. "I've studied the hereafter quite a bit in the past couple of months, and I believe I've discovered a way to beat the old saying "you can't take it with you."

The friends looked at each other, and then the lawyer asked, "So, how are you going to pull this off?"

"That's where you three come in. I've got in my safety deposit box three envelopes of $100,000.00 each. I want the three of you to make sure those envelopes get into my coffin before it is closed and buried. Don't tell anyone what's in there; if they ask, tell them they were newsclippings from when we played ball together, or some junk like that."

After giving them the necessary information to get into the boxes, the banker felt faint and asked the friends to go while he rested. But he died that night. They met at the bank the next day, and each took one of the envelopes. Looking inside, each indeed had a $100,000.00 cash.

At the funeral, the three friends approached the coffin, and silently but discretely put the envelope from his coat pocket into the coffin. As it was lowered into the ground, they said farewell to their friend and started walking away together.

"I can't stand it, guys," said the accountant. "I mean, I've not studied the afterlife, but I just don't believe a human CAN take it with them. I hated to see all that money go to waste, so I took out $20,000.00 to give to the Boys Club in Dan's memory. Does that make me a bad person?"

"Well, if it does, I'm right with you," said the minister. "I HAVE studied theology, and can assure you that we brought nothing into this world and can take nothing out. I took out $30,000.00 for the building project and there will be some classrooms named in memory of Dan."

The lawyer stopped walking and just stared at his friends. "I'm surprised and disappointed in both of you. The man, on his deathbed, asked us, his lifelong friends, to carry out a simple task. It wasn't our place to judge if he could take it with him, it was his money to do with as he pleased."

"I threw in a check for the entire $100,000.00."

loganmule · 11-26-2005, 10:03 PM

I've heard it before, but it remains one of my favorites

KellyC · 11-26-2005, 10:22 PM

I see another version of this were the wife throws in the check for her husband. This one is funny nonetheless.

Zeraph · 11-27-2005, 10:52 AM

That's really good, never heard it before.

SirLance · 11-27-2005, 10:03 PM

There's a reason lawyers have all that money...

Redlemon · 11-28-2005, 11:30 AM

I thought that the lawyer was supposed to take the two envelopes, and drop in a check for the total of $300,000.

Charlatan · 11-28-2005, 11:39 AM

No the lawyer charges the estate an extra $100,000 for having to write and deliver the cheque.

ryfo · 11-28-2005, 12:14 PM

Be a bit spooky for the lawyer if that cheques ever cashed!

AVoiceOfReason · 12-01-2005, 08:32 AM

Yeah, but after what, six months or so, it becomes a stale check, so . . .

mjby2 · 12-04-2005, 02:32 AM

Leave it to the lawyers...

11-26-2005, 09:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
AVoiceOfReason Psycho Location: Greenwood, Arkansas	Deathbed Wish Dan, a successful banker, was dying. He called three of his best friends to his bedside, an accountant, a minister and a lawyer. "We've known each other since we were boys," he began. "I've studied the hereafter quite a bit in the past couple of months, and I believe I've discovered a way to beat the old saying "you can't take it with you." The friends looked at each other, and then the lawyer asked, "So, how are you going to pull this off?" "That's where you three come in. I've got in my safety deposit box three envelopes of $100,000.00 each. I want the three of you to make sure those envelopes get into my coffin before it is closed and buried. Don't tell anyone what's in there; if they ask, tell them they were newsclippings from when we played ball together, or some junk like that." After giving them the necessary information to get into the boxes, the banker felt faint and asked the friends to go while he rested. But he died that night. They met at the bank the next day, and each took one of the envelopes. Looking inside, each indeed had a $100,000.00 cash. At the funeral, the three friends approached the coffin, and silently but discretely put the envelope from his coat pocket into the coffin. As it was lowered into the ground, they said farewell to their friend and started walking away together. "I can't stand it, guys," said the accountant. "I mean, I've not studied the afterlife, but I just don't believe a human CAN take it with them. I hated to see all that money go to waste, so I took out $20,000.00 to give to the Boys Club in Dan's memory. Does that make me a bad person?" "Well, if it does, I'm right with you," said the minister. "I HAVE studied theology, and can assure you that we brought nothing into this world and can take nothing out. I took out $30,000.00 for the building project and there will be some classrooms named in memory of Dan." The lawyer stopped walking and just stared at his friends. "I'm surprised and disappointed in both of you. The man, on his deathbed, asked us, his lifelong friends, to carry out a simple task. It wasn't our place to judge if he could take it with him, it was his money to do with as he pleased." "I threw in a check for the entire $100,000.00." __________________ AVOR A Voice Of Reason, not necessarily the ONLY one.

11-26-2005, 10:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	I see another version of this were the wife throws in the check for her husband. This one is funny nonetheless. __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

11-27-2005, 10:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	There's a reason lawyers have all that money... __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

11-28-2005, 11:30 AM	#6 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	I thought that the lawyer was supposed to take the two envelopes, and drop in a check for the total of $300,000. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

11-28-2005, 11:39 AM	#7 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	No the lawyer charges the estate an extra $100,000 for having to write and deliver the cheque. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

11-26-2005, 10:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	I've heard it before, but it remains one of my favorites

11-27-2005, 10:52 AM	#4 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	That's really good, never heard it before.

11-28-2005, 12:14 PM	#8 (permalink)
ryfo Psycho Location: melbourne australia	Be a bit spooky for the lawyer if that cheques ever cashed!

12-01-2005, 08:32 AM	#9 (permalink)
AVoiceOfReason Psycho Location: Greenwood, Arkansas	Yeah, but after what, six months or so, it becomes a stale check, so . . . __________________ AVOR A Voice Of Reason, not necessarily the ONLY one.

12-04-2005, 02:32 AM	#10 (permalink)
mjby2 Crazy	Leave it to the lawyers...