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Old 11-16-2005, 05:39 AM   #1 (permalink)
Femme Fatale
 
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Location: Elysium
What Makes 100%?

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+! 15+18+11 = 98%



and


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it's the bullshit and ass kissing that will put you over the top.


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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.
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Old 11-16-2005, 05:40 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Chicago
This is awesome!!!
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Old 11-16-2005, 08:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
is a tiger
 
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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Wow, oral sex is even less than hardwork, only 94%!

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--Kevin Smith

This part just makes my posts easier to find
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Old 11-17-2005, 08:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
Psycho
 
haha this is great!
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Old 11-17-2005, 09:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
Adequate
 
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Location: In my angry-dome.
If you've managed through layoffs at a company of any size you know how employee scoring works. You also know a buried nose trumps planted lips.

B R O W N N O S E
2 18 15 23 14 14 15 19 5 = 125%
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There are a vast number of people who are uninformed and heavily propagandized, but fundamentally decent. The propaganda that inundates them is effective when unchallenged, but much of it goes only skin deep. If they can be brought to raise questions and apply their decent instincts and basic intelligence, many people quickly escape the confines of the doctrinal system and are willing to do something to help others who are really suffering and oppressed." -Manufacturing Consent: Noam Chomsky and the Media, p. 195
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Old 11-18-2005, 02:55 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: UK
Excellent. Utterly excellent.
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