The Lawyer's Donation - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

SirLance · 11-08-2005, 12:56 PM

The Board of the prominent town charity had always hoped for a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So when the charity's new Director was hired, she thought she would impress the Board by getting a big check out of him.

She made an appointment with the lawyer and visited him in his lavish office. She opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the town charity?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the new Director mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children."

The stricken charity representative begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a big mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled, and another has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated Director, completely beaten, says, "I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"So," the lawyer concludes, "if I didn't give them any money, what makes you think I'd ever give any to you?"

Pip · 11-08-2005, 02:25 PM

Ahaha! Ouch, that's mean!

byesman · 11-08-2005, 02:45 PM

As the CEO of a large nonprofit that raises funds for other agencies, I have used that several times when I speak to groups. The lawyer on my board loves it... Thanks for posting it.

Brewmaniac · 11-08-2005, 04:45 PM

Reminds me of Mr. Potter of It's a Wonderful Life! Mean and Nasty.

Mantus · 11-08-2005, 07:21 PM

That was a good punchline

Siege · 11-08-2005, 08:33 PM

Read it in Reader's Digest, but it's still funny!

loganmule · 11-09-2005, 08:34 PM

good one...I hadn't it heard before either, and thought I knew them all

11-08-2005, 12:56 PM	#1 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	The Lawyer's Donation The Board of the prominent town charity had always hoped for a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So when the charity's new Director was hired, she thought she would impress the Board by getting a big check out of him. She made an appointment with the lawyer and visited him in his lavish office. She opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the town charity?" The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?" Embarrassed, the new Director mumbles, "Uh... no, I didn't know that." "Secondly," says the lawyer, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children." The stricken charity representative begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again. "Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a big mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled, and another has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?" The humiliated Director, completely beaten, says, "I'm sorry, I had no idea." "So," the lawyer concludes, "if I didn't give them any money, what makes you think I'd ever give any to you?" __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

11-08-2005, 02:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
byesman Crazy Location: Byesville	As the CEO of a large nonprofit that raises funds for other agencies, I have used that several times when I speak to groups. The lawyer on my board loves it... Thanks for posting it. __________________ If after I depart this vale you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner, and wink your eye at some homely girl. H.L. Mencken

11-08-2005, 04:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Reminds me of Mr. Potter of It's a Wonderful Life! Mean and Nasty. __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

11-08-2005, 08:33 PM	#6 (permalink)
Siege is a tiger Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada	Read it in Reader's Digest, but it's still funny! __________________ "Your name's Geek? Do you know the origin of the term? A geek is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a circus. I would never let you suck my dick with a name like Geek" --Kevin Smith This part just makes my posts easier to find

11-08-2005, 02:25 PM	#2 (permalink)
Pip Likes Hats Location: Stockholm, Sweden	Ahaha! Ouch, that's mean!

11-08-2005, 07:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	That was a good punchline

11-09-2005, 08:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	good one...I hadn't it heard before either, and thought I knew them all