maiden_fan_us

Just heard a variation on the old standard and thought I'd share it.

Your Mama is so fat that when she stepped off the curb, I ran out of gas swerving around her.

Now that's pretty damn fat.

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Remember Eric, there are no stupid questions, only stupid people!

FEIGN

Your momma is so fat, that when she jumped in the air, she got stuck.

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Remember, where ever you go, there you are.

Johnny Pyro

Your momma is so fat, after sex she smokes turkeys.

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"From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. - Sheriff John Wydell

Jeff

Yo momma's so old, I told her to "act her age" and the bitch died!

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For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
--Charles Bukowski

itch vaccine

Yo momma's so fat, she made one size fits all into one size fits most.

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"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes.
When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein

noodle

Yo' momma's so fat, when she puts on her BVDs they spell "boulevard".

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BenChuy

Yer mama's pit hair is so long she looks like she's got buckwheat in a headlock!