Why can't I just buy it...
 

The man goes to the store, approaches the checkstand and says to the clerk, "I'd like to buy some dog food."

"Do you have a dog?" asks the clerk.

"Yes," responds the would-be customer.

"Where is he?" the clerk asks.

"He's at home," comes the answer.

The clerk replies, "I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy."

The next day, the man returns. "I'd like to buy some cat food."

"Do you have a cat?" asks the clerk.

"Yes," the poor guy replies.

"Well...where is he?" asks the clerk.

"He's at home!"

The clerk says, "Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat."

The next day the man returns, holding a brown paper bag.

"What's in the sack?" asks the clerk.

"Put your hand inside." replies the poor bedraggled attempted customer.

"Hmmm...It's warm and moist! What is it?" asks the clerk.

"I would like to buy some toilet paper."

That is disgusting and absolutely funny at the same time! Thanks!

Good one, wonder why he isn't allowed dog food though, as Lister proved its rather tasty, or at least better than pot noodle!

:D

Haaah, disgusting and hilarious...yay for that one