guthmund

I haven't seen this one around and it's one of my favorite jokes.

A man and a woman, who are in the process of getting divorced, are pilfering through their things in an effort to divide them equally when they come across a strange bottle neither had seen before.

Animosity abound, both claim it and immediately begin fighting over the dirty, dusty bottle. Pulling and tugging the bottle between them the woman rubs a bit off the dust off and a genie appears before them.

"You, lady have released me from my cosmic prison and for that I will grant you three wishes. However, since you were both in possession of the bottle, you will get to make the wishes, but the other will be rewarded as well, only his reward will be ten-fold yours."

"Fine," she says, "I want a billion dollars"

"Granted." says the genie and woman was awarded one billion dollars and her ex-husband, true to the agreement was awarded ten.

"Next, I want a big house filled with expensive things." she says.

"Granted." says the genie and the woman is awarded a fabulously large house filled with expensive items. The ex-husband is granted ten such houses all filled with immensely expensive furnishings.

"Please," says the genie, "ask your third and final wish." The ex-husband, now 10 billion dollars richer and the owner of 10 finely furnished mansions crosses his arms and looks at his ex-wife. "Yes, by all means, dear make your third and final wish."

"Genie," the woman says catching her husbands eyes with hers knowing full well that whatever she wishes for her husband will get as well only ten fold continues, "I would like a mild heart attack, if you please."

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No signature. None. Seriously.

SirLance

Ouch! Poor guy!

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

superiorrain

thats a great joke

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"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible." - Arthur C. Clarke

ranger

heard it before but good things never die!

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there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and my way, which is the wrong way faster.

CrispySilicon

I heard a similar one only it was 2x as much and the end was "beat me half to death"

Daniel_

Ok - try this.

Chap goes into a pub carrying a large suitcase, from which beautiful music emanates.

The barman is interested and inevitable a conversation ensues.

"What's that then" he asks.

The man, dejectedly, says "I met this deaf genie"

"Deaf?"

"Yup, deaf" he opens the case.

Inside is a tiny man, no more than 12" tall, playing a perfect miniature steinway.

"That is SO cool" says the barman, "but I don't see how you know the genie was deaf?"

"Well" he asks, incedulousy "you don't think I asked for a foot long PIANIST do you?"

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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Delvid

That is a keeper.