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-   -   Vin Diesel Says (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/88335-vin-diesel-says.html)

Palamidian 05-02-2005 06:56 PM

Vin Diesel Says
 
http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php

Good for hours of entertainment. Enjoy!

Acetylene 05-02-2005 09:19 PM

Vin Diesel has 2000 posts on TFP, and he uses them instead of clothing.

guthmund 05-02-2005 10:00 PM

Quote:

Vin Diesel actually has hair, but it's beauty is too great for mortal men to behold. As such, he appears bald to all but the purest of heart.
Too funny...:thumbsup:

ChickenNinja 05-02-2005 11:45 PM

After reading an article about the Frenchman who eats bicycles and household appliances in a children's "fun facts" book, Vin threw the book to the ground, screamed "That fucking pussy ain't worth shit," and proceeded to eat everything in his mansion, including (but not limited to: ) two Porsches, a Ducati motorcycle, a 60" plasma screen TV, four maids (two Puerto Rican, one caucasian, and one Chinese,) half a stick of butter, and a box full of broken glass. He then ate the house itself, "for good measure." This all occured over a three-day period last July.

Vin Diesel is actually five men, all of whom share the same soul. If any one of them ever comes face to face with another, they are required by the laws of fate to totally rock the fuck out. The last time this cosmic event occurred, Atlantis sank beneath the sea forever. It was worth it.

Pip 05-03-2005 06:31 AM

Quote:

Vin Diesel could eat broken shards of glass for breakfast if he wanted to. However, he doesn't, because he prefers to drink molten lava.
The fun never ends!

TheJig 05-03-2005 09:34 AM

Quote:

Seismology is the study of Vin Diesel's masturbation habits.
Quote:

Vin Diesel sleeps on a bed of live hornets. Every single hornet is named "Pablo".
The urge to read the next one is too great...must...read...more...
This is seriously some of the funniest crap I've seen in a while.

lindseylatch 05-03-2005 02:52 PM

hmm, this link does not like my firefox...I shall try the evil that is IE.

oh, no it's just slow as fuck. :thumbsup:

Coppertop 05-03-2005 02:56 PM

Vin Diesel is actually the one singing during Ashlee Simpson's concerts.

Vin Diesel was the 13th Apostle. Rufus was actually the 14th.

After a grueling 47 day battle with Walt Disney, Vin Diesel finally beat him at rock, paper, scissors and thus froze Disney solid. Disney's frozen body is now on display at Vin Diesel's fortress of badassitude.

lindseylatch 05-03-2005 03:03 PM

Quote:

Vin Diesel lost his virginity in a freak snowmobiling accident when he was 18.
Oh, God, that's hilarious...I'm going to be seeing that in a dream...

saut 05-03-2005 03:10 PM

I now have 72 of these (good ones only) that rotate as my AIM away message.

Here's one of my favorites: On April 30, 1975, at 8:35am, ten Marines departed the US Embassy in Saigon, concluding the United States presence in Vietnam. Just 6 days later (May 6, 1975), Vin Diesel set foot on the coast of Da Nang carrying only a loaded Magnum revolver that held six shots and a Louisville Slugger with a rusted nail driven through it. On the dawn of May 8, 1975, the entire Viet Cong army had been found dead.

Jeff 05-03-2005 04:44 PM

Quote:

When asked about working with Vin Diesel on Boiler Room, Giovanni Ribisi simply stated, "His breath tasted like duck fart."
Quote:

The Lord Of The Rings is an altered account of Vin Diesel's attempt to make an infinite egg omelet. He dictated to the entire thing to J.R.R. Tolkien and never lied or exaggerated once, but Tolkien decided it wouldn't sell without elves and a ring.
Quote:

Vin Diesel does not hear the ocean when he puts a seashell to his ear, he hears "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls.
Quote:

Vin Diesel blew up the Hindenburg because he hates fat people.
This is the best site ever.

mvassek 05-09-2005 09:12 PM

Vin Diesel is the skidmark, on the underwear of the earth.

RCR 05-10-2005 05:42 AM

Thank for this, i will be reading this for a while....

MikeyChalupa 05-13-2005 05:56 AM

Quote:

Warning: mysql_fetch_array(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home2/q4cc/public_html/vin/index.php on line 82
That's the best one yet! Oh wait...

-Mikey

Shpoop 05-13-2005 12:14 PM

"He holds the world record for being a hovercraft"

hahah wtf?

Zephyr66 05-13-2005 12:25 PM

Quote:

Vin Diesel is 72% Badass and 28% cornbread.
Quote:

Every Friday at midnight he tapes cheese graters to his forearms and pretends that he's Master Shredder. He then proceeds to play "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" in his front yard until dawn.
This thing is awesome.

Shpoop 05-13-2005 01:53 PM

haha I've been reading them, off an on, ever since my last post, and they are hilarious. The last two have been the best yet:

"Vin Diesel coined the phrase yippy-kay yay mother-fucker. When Bruce Willis stole it from him, Vin killed him with a poison arrow frog. This is the prologue to the Sixth Sense."

and

"Vin Diesel loves lamp"

edit: sorry, the next one was even funnier, almost making me spit out my gatorade:

"Vin Diesel was the culprit who ate Gilbert Grape. He would later describe the experience as 'Similar in texture to panda meat , but not without its charms.'"

cellophanedeity 05-14-2005 09:29 AM

"If Vin Diesel falls down in the woods and no one is around to hear it, he will find the nearest person and accurately reconstruct the noise he made as he fell."

"If Vin Diesel were to stare directly at the sun, the sun would get scared and go to a different part of the galaxy."

"Vin Diesel is in reality a giant android controlled by The Jamaican government"

"Vin Diesel helped Bill Gates develop Windows. It was supposed to be called Vindows but Diesel decided to against that because he preferred Macs."

"Once upon a time, Vin Diesel solved murders in Hawaii. He drove a red Ferrari and enlisted the help of his black friend that flew a helicopter....no....wait...that was Abe Vigoda."

This thing is awesome.


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