jalora

So one day the Pope lands in New York, and gets into one limo by himself. He tells his retinue that he wants some time alone to think, so they pile in to the other stretch cars and leave him alone with his driver.

They're not five minutes out of the airport when the driver of the pope's limo hears a tap and the dividing glass. He rolls it down, and the pope sticks his head in.

"Lose the retinue."

"Holy Father? I'll get fired for that."

The Pope is insistant. "Lose the retinue."

How do you say no to the Pope? With a few quick turns, the limo driver separates the Pontiff's car from the motercade. Within seconds the Pope has stuck his head back through the window.

"Hey, why don' you-a let me drive?"

The driver is aghast. "Your Holiness, this is New York."

"I know I know, but I wanna drive. Don' you wanna ride in the back? You should be so pampered. Last shall be first, an' all that. Lemme drive."

How do you say no to the pope? The driver pulls over, and he trades places with the Holy Father. The pontiff gets behind the wheel, pulls out with a jerk, and starts driving. He's thrilled, but, you know, he hasn't driven in several years, and he's really bad. And this is New York.

He goes the wrong way on one-way streets. He's not used to the limo, and he clips parked cars on turns. He turns across lanes of traffic. He generally makes a mess of things. Eventually he gets pulled over by a classic Irish motorcycle cop.

The Pope is really nervous. He doesn't have a license, and, y'know, New York cops have a reputation. He sits there gripping the wheel as the cop comes up to the window.

"All right..." the cop starts to say, then he sees who it is, and freezes. "Um, I'll be right back."

The cop gets on the radio and calls back to his precinct. "Sergeant, I've just pulled over somebody really important."

"So. What'd he do?"

"Oh, sir, he's driving a limo the wrong way on one-way streets, clipping parked cars on turns, turnin' across lanes of traffic. Oh, it's a mess."

"So give him a ticket."

"But he's really important."

"Does he have Diplomatic tags?"

"Uh, no sir."

"Then give him a ticket."

"But he's really, really important."

"This is New York. No one's that important."

"Oh but he is, sir."

"Well, WHO IS IT?"

"I don't know, sir, but the Pope's drivin' his car."

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Like my diamonds? The Devil himself gave them to me...

lordkos

Hahahahaha nice one

Pip

Aaaw, that's so cute! Made me laugh!

dtheriault

liked it. i'm sure he'd approve.

here's another:
why don't they allow dogs in the vatican?

cause they pee on poles.


my favorite priest joke told to me by a fransiscan priest-
why do priests wear towels when they take showers.

cause they don't like to look down on the unemployed.

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"Remember, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." -Homer

Unless you are the freakin Highlander, what is the point in learning how to fight with a sword?