ranger

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the HOV lane?

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

7. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!

8. If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

9. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

11. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

12. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?

13. Stop singing and read on..........

14. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

15. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?

16. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

17. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

18. When it is done, shouldn't they call it a built instead of a building?

19. Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Hain

All you need is a picture of Gallagher and you're all set.

OH LOOK! HERE'S ONE NOW!
Yes the Watermelon smashing maniac.

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ShaniFaye

gallagher...if m & m's melt in your mouth and not in your hand...what do they do under your arm?

*sigh* I used to love gallagher

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Cervantes

This one gave me good laugh:

11. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Good post!

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- "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.."
- "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong."
- "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

Delvid

Funny stuff. Got busted by #13.

Lotronex

13 was the best on there, im still giggling about it

TexanAvenger

I, admittedly, sometimes gesture in the general direction of my crotch when I ask somebody where the bathroom is. I don't do the double or triple tap of the wristwatch check, but point down from about chest level when I'm around people who aren't going to be embarrassed at the mention of bodily functions.

Blackthorn

Hey ranger...funny post!

Where's my cheesecake recipe??? Tilted Cooking Style?

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What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?

MageB420666

I've got some to add:

20. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

21. Why does sour cream have an expiration date? Its already sour.

22. Why do people push harder on the remote buttons when they already know the battery is dead?

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Apathy: The best outlook this side of I don't give a damn.

ranger

23. Why do they put croutons in airtight packaging? They're already stale.

SirLance

24. Why does mildew cleaner have a warning: "Use only in a well ventilated area." If it was well ventilated, it wouldn't be mildewed!

Gallagher is funny!

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DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.