Limericks
 

Let's hear it for dirty limericks! Here's one of my favs:

Said the nun as the bishop withdrew,
"This must be our final adieu,
For the vicar is slicker,
And thicker, and quicker,
And two inches longer than you."

I love them too! Here's more:

On the internet they found romance,
That put both in a hot sexual trance,
But each had a gripe,
About having to type,
With a hand stuck down into their pants.

In convertibles she was quite brash,
When she put her feet up on the dash.
As a trucker drove by,
Her bare crotch caught his eye,
And four people were killed in the crash.

With the heat of their passion quite high,
In the dark she had grabbed the K-Y,
But her burning desire,
Quickly set him on fire,
When she smeared that Ben-Gay on the guy.

On Viagra was old man Muldoon,
When he went on his third honeymoon.
Morning coffee was brewin',
When he started in screwin',
And he finished at twelve o'clock noon.

more here: http://home.tiscali.be/patrick.verbo.../limerick.html

There once was a hooker named Sue,
Who filled her vagina with glue.
When they paid to get in,
She said with a grin,
You must pay to get out of it too!

There once a man named Dave,
Who had a dead hooker in a cave,
He said, "What the hell,
I'll get over the smell,
Just imagine the money I would save!!"

There once was a man from Bombass,
Who had balls made of brass,
In foul weather,
They would clang together,
And lightning would shoot out of his ass!!

Glad

I hope these aren't too offensive, and if they're not offensive enough, I have some way worse ones. If these bother anyone, just pm me and I'll take care of it.

There once was a woman named Alice.
She used TNT as a phallus.
They found her vagina
In north Carolina
Her ass was in Buckingham Palace.

There once was a vampire named Mable.
Her period was quite stable.
Every full moon
She'd break out a spoon
And drink herself under the table.

There was ayoung man from Kent
Whose tool was exceedingly bent
It gave him no trouble
He stuck it in double
And instead of coming, he went.

Being from Cape Cod I had to post this:

There once was a man from Nantucket.
His dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a pussy I'd fuck it."