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-   -   Ralph the horny chicken (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/81428-ralph-horny-chicken.html)

aphex140 01-20-2005 06:43 AM

Ralph the horny chicken
 
Hope it is not a repost I just love this one :
A Farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks.

So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster
that he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster,
named Ralph. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."

Well, Ralph the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer
Decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Ralph The farmer takes Ralph home and sets
him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk.

"I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service
here, and you cost me a lot of money." Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So,
take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle.

Ralph seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and
Ralph takes off like a shot. WHAM! Ralph nails every hen in the hen house - three or
four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer hears
a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Ralph is in there. Later,
the farmer sees Ralph after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again
WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Ralph out in the fields
chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his
expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find
Ralph on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue
Hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air.

Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a
colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Ralph, I
told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what
you've done to yourself." Ralph opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling
in the sky and says, "Shhhh! They're getting closer."

cj22009 01-20-2005 08:06 AM

I don't know if it's a repost but that was some funny shit !

Cadwiz 01-20-2005 09:04 AM

I don't know if it's beeen posted here before, but I have heard it. It still makes me laugh every time.

PDOUBLEOP 01-20-2005 12:27 PM

that's a funny joke for sure.

thriolith 01-20-2005 12:40 PM

Hehe, that's a funny one there.

Blackthorn 01-20-2005 01:09 PM

I love it!!!! :lol:

Delvid 01-20-2005 02:39 PM

Old but funny.

HLP 01-20-2005 11:15 PM

Oh thanks for a great joke! Ill be telling this tommorow

Ella 01-20-2005 11:52 PM

PMSL....very funny stuff. Of course, I'll never remember it.

chateau_margaux 01-22-2005 02:38 PM

That was good - I'll be telling it at work

Hardknock 01-22-2005 06:22 PM

nice one! I love it!

Latch 01-22-2005 06:34 PM

PMSL? Pissing myself laughing?

Anyways.. great joke.

ranger 01-25-2005 09:02 AM

First off great joke, I used to work for a guy who had chickens and he had a rooster kill itself that way. It nailed all the hens and tried to go after the dog in the kennel.

Second to Latch, where did you get that avatar? Thats awesome.

SirLance 01-26-2005 02:56 PM

New to me, and a funny one.


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