CIA Assasins - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Mobo123 · 11-16-2004, 12:25 PM

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job.'

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.'

The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. Then the agents heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, 'This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

KinkyKiwi · 11-16-2004, 02:21 PM

hahaha!! that made me grin ear to ear...hehehe..yup..takes a woman to do it right...

Seething · 11-16-2004, 03:33 PM

I heard that one before, but with 3 men instead. Personally, it was funnier with the last "assassin" being a man. Maybe that's just me though.

lyxo · 11-16-2004, 07:02 PM

No, I think it's more effective with the woman. Creates a gender conflict. Controversial jokes are the best.

Ishmal · 11-17-2004, 11:13 PM

i agree with lyxo.
i've now heard both versions and think this is funnier

Paradise Lost · 11-17-2004, 11:16 PM

That's definately one of the better jokes I've heard in some...

Fenton-J-Cool · 11-22-2004, 11:15 PM

i'm going with the man-funny
sorry ladies, you cant have it all

kd4 · 11-28-2004, 02:22 PM

good one

klo · 11-28-2004, 03:36 PM

Nice one, one of the better jokes.

TexanAvenger · 12-13-2004, 08:24 PM

I definitely think this one's better with the gender conflict involved.

By the way, how do you know the CIA wasn't involved in the Kennedy assassination?
He's dead, isn't he?

11-16-2004, 12:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mobo123 Insane	CIA Assasins The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.' Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. Then the agents heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, 'This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

11-16-2004, 02:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	hahaha!! that made me grin ear to ear...hehehe..yup..takes a woman to do it right... __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

11-16-2004, 03:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
Seething Insane	I heard that one before, but with 3 men instead. Personally, it was funnier with the last "assassin" being a man. Maybe that's just me though. __________________ Common sense is uncommon. Ironic, isn't it?

11-17-2004, 11:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ishmal Wicked Clown Location: House Of Horrors	i agree with lyxo. i've now heard both versions and think this is funnier __________________ "Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular."

11-17-2004, 11:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
Paradise Lost "Afternoon everybody." "NORM!" Location: Poland, Ohio // Clarion University of PA.	That's definately one of the better jokes I've heard in some... __________________ "Marino could do it."

11-16-2004, 07:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
lyxo Crazy	No, I think it's more effective with the woman. Creates a gender conflict. Controversial jokes are the best.

11-22-2004, 11:15 PM	#7 (permalink)
Fenton-J-Cool Insane Location: Toronto	i'm going with the man-funny sorry ladies, you cant have it all __________________ wra

11-28-2004, 03:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
klo Tilted	Nice one, one of the better jokes.

12-13-2004, 08:24 PM	#10 (permalink)
TexanAvenger Born-Again New Guy Location: Unfound.	I definitely think this one's better with the gender conflict involved. By the way, how do you know the CIA wasn't involved in the Kennedy assassination? He's dead, isn't he?