Viva La France...... N O T
 

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals.
Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
---Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me
than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting
without your accordion."
--Norman Schwartzkopf >

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
---- Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is
when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--- Regis Philbin

France is one of the greatest countries in the world. Don't say anything else without ever having been there. But when the monkey says it's bad, then it has to be...

c'mon, this is in the humor section

Lighten up Dyze. if you get so offended, dont venture in here. and yes, i have been there. Rude Parisians, baguettes under their armpits, beautiful museums and a country that has now become a cauldron of discontent. so lighten up bud. france sucks, bush sucks, everybody sucks. (except my wife unfortunately)

Mobo, Paris isn't all of France. Don't dis it until you've REALLY been there. And Dyze, I agree with you.

And yeah, this is the humour section, not the 'let's bash other countries' section.

PS: It's 'vive', not 'viva'...that's Spanish.

Nice set, I like the Schwartzkopf one.

Bah, Fuck france!

Pansy little ankle-biters!

=P


Seriously lighten up people, its just jokes.

Please no Rush Limbaugh comments ever. Hates Limbaugh.

Actually this was said by Jed Babin.

I hear the new French tank has fourteen gears. Thirteen of them are reverse. The other is for when they are attacked from behind.

Raise your hand if you like France.

If you ARE French, raise both hands!

French Army Knife
 

<img src=http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0UwAHA60a34rmrC9YXt08!BABCG3XPrZ8HZ8vY2vqqL*lWkktxXxNjEq8vPrBZmyYiJS6AJw6SuZlQMb9Bk3mAp91DX8Sb0DBek2JN2aGsHlzmSWA3zoKNolaqHT*bFTm/FrenchArmyKnife.jpg?dc=4675502342401911593></img>

hah. hah. forget about the help the french gave the US for their freedom? yeah, that small quarrel that made America a country...
And about "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France..... he's right. war is always a failure..its the bad way out. its the unhappy ending. And as much as you may say "its the real world, we can't always have happy endings", that may be true, but France at least tries to solve problems without war.
The whole "Frenchmen are pussies" thing started when France refused to participate in a war they didin't believe in. What? now we're cowards because we won't fight for America's oil...
man please...ease the french hate a bit.
And the way you talk, it seems all you've in the parisian streets are men with baguettes under their armpits :rolleyes: ...Maybe three people out of 500 happen to walk while holding their bread under their arm. And I don't know more french assholes than I know American ones (and I live in NYC).
whatever, mate.

jeez people, lighten up, every country's gonna have jokes bashing them, i should know, I'm Canadian

...and in Oz we've got Steve Irwin. Now there's a joke!

French people have been pussies for far longer than this latest conflict...

I seem to remember some german guys eating croissants in paris at one time...

World war 2 and the "ligne Maginot" was horrible strategy.
But that has nothing with frenchmen being pussies; I know you know the French army was no longer able to fight, but many french civilians gave their lives to their country in "La resistance", blowing up german trains, etc.
So the failure of an army has nothing to do with the courage of the people.
Why don't you go to a small decrepit bar and say in France and say "Les francais sont des tapettes!" If you do, please post pics of yourself fter the incident.

i don't see how being seen as a peace loving (or at least peace prefering) country can be a bad thing!
i don't get the whole american thing of "you, like, so don't want to fight an illegal war and kill loads of innocent people so that our mega-rich elite families and companies can control the world's oil, you pussies, you! yeah go and read some book or something! yeah USA USA!"
fuck sakes if you are going to slag off france take the piss out of their nuclear testing or their dubious running of their 'empire' not their not wanting to fight or their crap taste in casual clothing, or the way that they can't queue...it is the same as using 'liberal' as an insult?!!? what the fuck is that all about?

No shit. I thought this was the humor board, but it's turned into the politics board.

The Complete Military History of France

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."

War never solved anything. That's why we still have so much trouble with Nazis.

http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0TgCXA...02604640961009

And us kiwis just like to keep loads and loads of sheep, for no apparent reason....

World politics is simply much more difficult than Bush tries to tell the US. But he probably does not know better. People are still laughing about the childish "if you are not with us, you are against us" claim. All the countries that blindly followed Bush have to admit now that the war was wrong and surely not the "war on terror". Sadly enough, they have to pay the price now. I never respected Bush but he could gain a little if he admitted that he does not give a shit about OBL and he lied to the world to justify his assault on foreign oir reservoirs.

the american constitution had only been around for just over 100 years at this point...not really much of a bloodline...

Isn't that the point? To add further insult with the suggestion a mutt pedigree could improve France's "miniature poodle"?

Harsh.

"improvement in the french bloodline" ? now that sounds kind of like Hitler when he wanted to "improve the world" by killing all non-Aryans. What kind of an asshole comment is that..on someone's bloodline? I'm very offended.
But as I said before, you judge a country by its military history, and not its cultural values.
I don't appreciate France for its army, I couldn't give three shits. I like because of its culture.

When people on this board are from France,I guess your asking to get told with you weak history report.

Even I'll admit, the French countryside is pretty cool, but as for its cities, they're horrible. Pig shit smells better than Paris, and while the normal people might be pretty tough, its the panty-waists in charge that give everyone the bad impressions.

google- "french military victories" then hit I feel lucky

Oh, man. I thought you were joking...

--- I'm feeling lucky... ---
Did you mean: french military defeats

No standard web pages containing all your search terms were found.

Your search - french military victories - did not match any documents.
---

I'm rolling... cheeks hurt...

Yeah there are a few more google searches that bring back good answers...I'll start a new thread about those if I can find them

Nevermind.

Yea i was so just thinking that. Given that post above however, mabye we should start a petition for NZ to start a war on France. Given historical precedent we may just have a chance.

geez, i just started this thread as light humour. I didnt realise it would take such a radical turn. but what the hell :D

hehe the debate is almost as funny as the original jokes.

Man, this is HECK of funny! I really like the Mark Twain quote and what CSflim said about the French Tanks. LOL!

Well, I just think its more country bashing than actual humor...
I came to the TFP for tolerance, and calling french people pussies isn't really tolerant...I personally think its a little too far. I dont mind some jokes on our food (even if I've never eaten frog legs, horses OR snails) but this is kinda racist.

I dont think any of the comments i posted can be classified as rascist. I think they speak more of opinions based upon verifiable fact. As for the others, i cant nor will i speak for them.

I normally don't check the humor threads, but I noticed this one had quite a bit of replies, now I know why!

For what its worth, I'm with Dyze and Biznatch 100%. At least someone has the sense to realize that war is failure.

Thanks for the support.

put miserable failure into google
or weapons of mass destruction

Put almost any derogatory term in google and the chimps face or name will pop up on the first page almost every time.

Been to Paris, didn't notice any real bad smells.

And I'd like you to give me an example of a city that large that smells like a room full of roses.


I loved the culture and countryside when I went to France. Only met two rude people(and one of them was an American tourist) which is much better than what I can say for America, although thats not entirely fair since I was only in France for two weeks and I live in America.

Oh, and about France's military history, just because you lose a war doesn't mean your a pussy. As far as I remember France was fighting Germany in both World Wars well before the U.S. joined in. And if I recall correctly(although I may be wrong) during WWII France was fighting Germany when there was a temporary treaty between the Germans and Russia, allowing Germany to only have to worry about one front, when the U.S. came into the fight, the Germans where having to fight on three fronts, North Africa, Eastern Front, and the Western Front.

Aside from all that though, the joke was kinda funny.

Yes France is a shitty country because they lose in wars. :rolleyes:

What about Vietnam? And we don't seem to have won the "War on Terror" yet.
War is not what makes a country great.

U.S. national debt = -$7,606,656,603,372 and growing at a fast rate.
France's debt = Didn't find one, cause France isn't in debt. France generally has a financial surplus, not a deficit like the U.S.
:hmm:

in keeping with the forum, let's post something funny about the French, and put aside the indignities that belong elsewhere....e.g., advertisement placed for French rifle...dropped once, never been fired

damn.....your wife dont suck......bummer....a good hummer every now and then is great :crazy:

Maybe because they sell weapons to terrorists and countries they aren't supposed to?

gee, maybe that's why they wanted nothing to do with Iraq,,,they knew what papers we would find there

I still mourn that everyday. :(

btw, what the hell is this thread still doing here??? :crazy:

War never solved anything? Nazis? Slavery?
You are lucky you aren't speaking German

haha i cant pretend that i didnt laugh at some of the jokes.

there is no argument that france does not have a poor military history, even the french people on this thread admit that...but that does not mean france is a worse or less respectable country for that. I've been to Paris, didnt find it anything too special, but i also didnt notice any obtrusive rudeness, most of the time at least. but i also went to Normandy, and that was where i was impressed. An aging french man started talking to us and he said "we know that all you Americans think we French hate you. In fact, some people in Paris do. But Parisians do not represent all the French. Here, we still remember that you saved our lives."

In conclusion: honorable French people are just as honorable as honorable Americans, and despicable French people are no worse than despicable Americans. There are the fair share of Americans who look down on the French for being pussies, based on their military. There are the fair amount of French who look down on Americans as being cocky, selfish idiots, based on Bush. Both are egregiously wrong.

As if the U.S.A and all other industrial countries hadn't sold weapons to poor countries, and terrorists.

hell we sold them to iraq too

For Sale, Used french rifles, never fired, dropped once.

come on now, there is nothing wrong with france, its a great country, with nice people. im tried of this american sterotype. They hate us, because we hate them. Its just become a joke in our culture, and its not cool. I think that some people need to grow up, they are just people. Make fun of someone that is a threat to us, or has done something terrible to us. Dont forget who gave us the statue of LIBERTY just think about it.

By the way, thats fucking moronic. Come on now, stop the hate, and pull your head out of your ass.

No, it's documented.


This is the humor board. If you want to make posts like this, you should go to the politics board.

But you'd better make sure your facts are correct, or you'll look very foolish.

You say humor, I say country bashing, and hate for people. Sorry, you hate the French, and this "humor" is derived from that hatred. I don't appreciate that.

I agree with you.

to some of us this is humor...like the michael jackson jokes..the blonde jokes...the doctor jokes..lawyer jokes...the list goes on people find them funny even though they are putting someone down... nice to see the double standard some of you guys have

Never understood the whole thing you yanks have against France.. Never expect i will ..
to add my 2cents to a few of the topics

If this is humour it is only one step removed from Racist slurs which this board seem to thankfully be free from.

But by you're logic Noob we should support jokes against blacks or 'the darkies', or perhaps a word starting with N, after all not doing so would be us going against a double standard.

As for france selling weapons, who cares. The USA is no doubt the largest gun dealer on the block and it's been documented to train/fund rebels/insurgents the world over.

As for those who do find this funny..
Please take care not to choke on your freedom fries.

I agree with Boo Radley

France is France, the US is the US, they'll always heckle eachother about whos better... etc. Big egos= ignorance (formally called racism). I've been to both, every country has people who are idiots, along with people who are not. WHO CARES, its just jokes, every nation has jokes about them. I'm canadian there are more than enough about us.

That, my friend, is a crock of shit. These jokes i posted were generic in nature and meant only in fun. YOu would hear even more pointed barbs by Leno and Letterman.

Youre next line would classify you as an idiot. How the hell you jumped to this following conclusion that the jokes were racist is way beyond me.

I happen to be a history buff with my main focus on the actions of the Vichy govt during WWII. The french were certainly happy to hand over something like 78,000 jews and assorted undesirables to be murdered. The Butcher of Lyon was a real prize.

France, just like every single country in this world, acts for its own self interest. They make jokes about us. Is that racist on their part? Does that bother you not at all? Make up your mind. You seemed to be very confused.

and i dont eat french fries anyways. Too much fat and cholesterol.
. :rolleyes:

freedom fries...cracks me up everytime :lol:

I agree with streak_56. Every country has idiots. I've been to France on multiple occasions (last week I was skiing in Les Arcs for example) and I've also lived in the US for 5 years. Both are nice countries with an equal amount of idiots and cool people. None is better than the other in my opinion.

It's just jokes people!

--jaded

EDIT: I can't spell.

The french are not a race. They are a people contained within an arbitrary boundary that has changed countless times in the past. There is no parallel between this geographical distinction and that of inherent racial characteristics, especially not of eugenics, the likes of which Hitler and others have proposed.

If you are a history buff, perhaps you would remember that the govt of Vichy was hated by most french people, and its leader, General Philippe Petain, was an ass-hole who collaborated with Hitler. Its one French coward who was scared for his life and was only interested in his personal well being, so he helped the Nazis by using his power as a general.
He stayed in power because he was supported by the German army.
However, this is one man. I'm not making jokes on the US or any other country because of the assholes in power that exist there.
You're bashing a whole population based on the invasion they suffered during WW2?
You might have forgotten (in all respect to your history-buffness) that frenchmen rather supported General Charles de Gaulle, who commanded "la Resistance" from London... and who was still willing to fight the Germans, while the corrupt Vichy govt in power collaborated.
So don't say that "the french" gave away 78,000 jews.
Because people don't say that the English wanted to go to war with Iraq, but rather that their little prime minister preferred to stay comfortably "on Bush's side"
just admit that these "jokes" are based on your disliking of the French. You might as well make a thread named "I hate the French because of their poor military history and these jokes seem to be fashionable these days"

Thank you for your input.. we are aware that the French are not a race or ethnicity, that would be like saying Mexicans and Peruvians are different races.(absolutely no offense to Latin Americans)
But..ummm I don't see the point...?

why dont i see you complaining about blonde jokes? or lawyers jokes?

I don't think you actually hate blonds. And you probably have a lawyer buddy.
But these jokes are country bashing. Period.

i fail to see your point now... you complain because people here told some jokes about the french and you defended the french by basically saying they arent weak/stupid/whatever but what im wondering is why youre not so quick to defend other groups people when they make jokes about them (irish, blondes, doctors, etc.)...well im waiting

wow...lots of fun in this thread. It's funny how some here can justify their intolerance and xenophobic views as "it's just a joke" or "can't you take a joke".
I can't wait for the "you know you're dealing with an redneck american when...." jokes to begin, they'll be pulling their hair out in protest..

the funniest part of the thread? It's gotta be "Viva La France"...LOL...it spreaks volumes..heheh

splck what on earth is your avatar, im confused every time i see it.

Now I'm being 100% honest when I say that I did find some of this funny, but it is no where near a racist or xenophobic joke. And I am no where near a racist or a xenophobe. I am one of the most open people you will ever meet...I'm friends with blacks, indians, hatians, jews, french people, hispanics, koreans, etc. Even if I did laugh at the joke, it does not mean I hate the french. People tell me jew jokes about how they have small penises and are stingy, etc. Justified? Probably not. Stereotypical? Most definitely. But I laugh at them, and that in know way means I acknowledge them to be true, just that I admire the comedic value behind the joke. Its the same thing here, I have NO hate or disrespect for the french, no matter what you say.

gosh u guys get all upset

We all have to love and tolerate each other unless they disagree with us, right guys? Take the soap boxes out the comedy forums, please. Go be offended and superior someplace else. There are plenty of other forums where you can prove that your are better than everyone else because you've spent time in another country and like to tell everyone how much better it is. If people find "bashing other countries" funny, then let it be so. I'm not out in front of their embassy burning their flag, am I? Go to some coffee shop or something, sit down with your sophisticated friends, laugh at the ignorant americans (it's more sardonically satisfying if you are one yourself) and their small mindedness, and bask in your continentalism. I mean, in all reality, you're probably so open minded that we can't be nearly as open minded as you so you don't have to listen to anyone else's opinion. Now please move on so I can hear some good jokes. Go hang out in a french forum where you can bash America...si tu parle francais. Lighten up.

Boy someone got mad when that whole weapons sales to the wrong people thing. "Fucking moronic"? Nice. Good, solid logic there. Do your homework and look at who were the biggest creditors to Iraq in the 90s were. But you won't believe it, so I don't know why I'm wasting my time typing. Keep the jokes coming- down with censorship!

Last time I checked, I'm not "bashing America".
I don't feel superior to americans, almost all of my friends are americans. My gilfriend is american. I dont see your point. I don't find the jokes very funny, and yes, I do find them a little offensive. Well you see the thing is....I searched for a while for a place on the net where people can tolerate other people from other cultures without calling them pussies. And the tfp is that place...So yes I do think these jokes are offensive..
"Go hang out in a french forum where you can bash America" ???
I have better things to do...I don't know about french forums where people waste their time discussing the stereotyped flaws of americans. Although there might be some of those forums, I have no intention of finding one...
As I said before, the reason I like to talk in this forum is the open mindedness of it... And your allusions to "coffee shop", "sophisticated" and all of that gives the exact stereotype of a french person, and reflects your closed mindedness...
And I have yet to encounter a frenchman that goes to his "cafe" in the afternoon smoking his "Gitanes" cigarettes while philosophing about the stupidity of the actions of other people's govts...My french friends like to fuck around just like americans, or any other men of other nationalities
Your comment is even more offensive. I don't think I'm superior in any way. I'm a noob to this forum, just happy to be here...
But just because this is the comedy section doesn't mean you can bash and insult the shit out of a culture. I'd prefer you actually go in front of the embassy and burn their flag, at least you'd be saying loud and clear "I hate the french"
Whatever, dude.

I know that I started this discussion. I am fine with jokes about French, blondes, Irish, dogs, Americans or cookies. The only thing that irritates me is that all the "French-bashing" only became cool after the cowboy in DC started it. Bush is not a person you should imitate.

exactly. The jokes have taken a politics turn to them. I don't laugh at blond jokes because I think they "are helpng the terrorists"...
The main reason for these "french jokes" and "vivA la france" is their refusal to help the US in a war they didn't believe in.

Actually the majority of the really funny quotes didn't come from this war at all, a lot of them are from the past.

Unfortunately for France, they have been bashed in the US for far longer than President Bush has been in the White House, and it was "cool" then too. Countries and the people in them will take pride in their strong points. For the US, one of those is a strong military tradition. I don't know enough about France to say what their's would be, but feel free to enlighten me (in another forum, unless it's funny). But the gross overreaction by folks on both sides of the pond is pretty funny to watch. Have your sense of humor primed before you come in here.

Obviously you don't have anything better to do- you managed to get even more offended by what I thought. And to be honest, I was actually specifically refering to intolerant Americans, who are usually the easiest offended. But I'm glad to learn from you that the French don't bash America. I'm sure you don't feel superior to all Americans (because of your friends and GF), just the ones who disagree with you- because of their closemindedness, right? I'm just wanting to make sure I'm getting it straight. Because your posts to this point have been pretty condescending "Well you see the thing is..."

I'm not saying I've been overly polite, but you seem pretty upset that I might have accused you of being closedminded yourself and intolerant of others' views...and I've noticed that whenever that comes up, your response has been "I don't see your point". My point is you've chastised me for what YOU'VE thought I think, thereby making yourself guilty of intolerance. But I guess that's just "reflecting my closedmindedness" again. You don't know me, remember that- you know nothing of me, my background, or experience, so you might want to think again about accusing me of being closemined, simply because I'm American and I like jokes...now who's being offensive...

For the record, I never refferred to a "cafe", that was you- I was very specific when I used the phrase "coffee shop"...and as far as "gitanes" go, I personally prefer Gaulois blondes (the first cigarettes I ever smoked). I never called the french "pussies"- that was you assuming you know what I believe and what I think simply because I enjoy a few jokes- I guess your openmindedness only goes so far.

You can still respect a culture and have a sense of humor. I've even laughed at German and Irish jokes, which puts me in a rough spot for two reasons; first, I'm both, and second some of the German jokes were in French. I've laughed at American jokes too. I'm in big trouble for that one.

I'm sure you would prefer that I go burn a flag- that way I would fit into your nice little stereotypical American category, but it doesn't work like that. Just because I laugh at jokes doesn't make me "hate the French pussies", I'm sorry, it just doesn't work that way. At least I admit that I can jump to conclusions- most humans do. And I take back what I said about wanting anyone to go into a french American Jokes forum...I wouldn't want you to ruin their jokes, too. But seriously, ask yourself...if you were in a French forum, would you be standing up as much for Americans?

What???!!!??? French jokes have been around for years...and I've never heard the prez tell a french joke, or bash them...it was France and Germany who wouldn't support us...so we did something without their blessing. That's it. A few Americans got carried away (Yes, Freedom fries are stupid, and all of that perfectly good wine...makes me sick to think about it). Countries piss each other off all the time...

I'm wondering though...you don't see the similarities in "french bashing" and calling the President of the United States "the cowboy in DC"? I wouldn't call Chirac the "frog in Paris". I love double standards- and don't even try to tell me you don't have one...it is sooooo clear in that message. J'accuse!!!! (see...a french joke that doesn't make fun of the french!) Can't we all just lighten up? If you don't like it, then don't read it. Go to a different forum and join the thread there...just please stop derailing this one...

For a humorous analogy, you don't see me going into a homosexual room and trying to turn them straight, do you? Do you know why? Because I love lesbians (that was the humorous part, but you get the point). I respect them for who they are and I *try* to tolerate differences among people but I'm human, and will come up short sometimes. However, will I stand up for something I believe in? Absolutely... Will I go looking for a fight? Absolutely not...

awww, poor guy... I'm glad I don't have the same problem

wow baby! (aimed at biznatch) check you out being all intelectual and chic :)...and ahem..i'm all for french bashing (just ask biznatch) but you guys are kinda giving americans a bad name..whats that old joke...you know freedom fries and idiot cheese...why exactly are we supposed to hate the french? i think i may have lost that train of thought while i was busy hating canada and the irish ;)

OK, shoot me for being serious in the humor section.

France is a Great County. This is a fact.

HOWEVER

If France were half as great a country as the French believe it is, it would rule the world. This is not a joke. This is the basis of French Diplomacy. France has never gotten over losing its Empire to the British and it's primacy in Europe to the Germans, and it deals with it in the same way that America does its military and political blunders - it ignores them.

&lt;/serious&gt;

The French economy is so screwed up they don't even have a word for entrepreneur. Tourism was off so much last year that Parisians had to be rude to each other. Q: Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees? A: So the german Army can march in the shade.

Some of you guys need to relax.

And the last time I checked, the French weren't a race apart, so charges of "racism" are rediculous.

Now that joke was funny as hell. :lol:
anyway I decided not to post here anymore. I guess I'm tired; yes I still think the thread started as kind of wrong. But you know...no beef. whatever.
So yeah, I decided to post some jokes on my own people....
I'm translating them, so bear with me:
-How does french man commit suicide?
He shoots a bullet 8 inches over his head because of his superiority complex.
-When God created France, he made it the most beautiful country of the world. So to avoid jealousy amongst other people, he reestablished balance by populating it with the french.
-Why do french people drown more often than other people? Because they can't shut their big mouth up for more than 5 seconds
-What's the difference between Nelson Mandela and most french govt members? Nelson Mandela went to jail before he worked in the govt.

After all, it's the humor section. Everyone had a good laugh and I say goodbye to that post. Unless someone moves it...

Humor section, i was under the impression all jokes were to be taken as jokes?

I originally posted it as a joke. I still meant it to be a joke. I am absolutely astounded that this is still kicking.

guess i'll have to find more like this :D

Relations between the US and the French have been strained since the start of the Iraq invasion (and were always a bit awkward at the best of times)...

Is it any surprise that you would get this sort of reaction?

The funnyest thing is the notion that the US has a better millitary history than the French.

They've lost battles to Mexicans, Canadians, Indians, The Japanese, The British, The Vietnamese and even themselves in their rich and glorious military history.

In the opening stages of the Gulf Wars I and II, more allied casualties were caused by 'friendly fire' from the 'expertly' trained US forces, than were inflicted by the entire Iraqi army - talk about not wanting the French Army behind you, I'd much prefer the French to the Americans.

If the US wasn't bankrupting itself by funding their huge military budget, they might realise that behind all the shiny guns and designer uniforms, their troops are regarded as the least disciplined, worst trained, slapdash outfit in the world.

If the American people's anscestry wasn't largely British, they'd be in real trouble!

Now that IS funny.

Do you have any proof to back up that statement? Generally, the US is counted in the top 5 in the world for being one of the best trained military outfits.

How am I supposed to proove what the world thinks about the US army? Ask them yourself. (But I suppose a good place to start would be the friends and family of the allied soldiers killed by US 'friendly fire' Ho ho.) Perception is not necessaraly the same as reality. Who else are in the top 5?

I thought this thread was dead. But I have said I wouldn't talk in here. So I take no part in this. But I have tried to cool people off with the French bashing, and it ended in a long discussion. The topic of war these days is extremely polemic...
I don't think I wanna go through a whole new thread war.
So yeah. zen_tom I'm not telling you that what to do, just warning you that as you can see in the previous posts here, people get quite worked up over these things... If there's something americans don't like, its someone downtalking their military. We frenchmen don't care that much(about all those white flag jokes n all), but straight up calling them "pussies" and stuff isn't pleasant to hear.. And I guess nobody would like to hear those kind of things. Anyway I'll give anti french people that we don't have the best military history, and I won't bother discussing that. I know what I know, and I have learned our history; I won't discuss American history here because its not the topic of the thread.
Anyway, cheers to all. I'm out.

Hey biz, you're right, but if people are happy bashing other people's countries, they ought to realise what the jokes are about their own right? Personally, I think it's all in poor taste, but hate seeing double standards going on. But hey, it's just jokes, right?

Somehow I doubt this.

These jokes aren't new, and they're gonna be around for a while. Get used to it. It is a joke. Jokes are not for everyone. If you don't find it funny, instead of lingering on it, go find a joke you think is funny, and have a laugh.

I'm french, it's funny. The title was really fitting.

Not every joke is funny to everyone. There are alot of people who really don't like my dead baby jokes.

These are jokes that target a specific group of people. There are alot of them. Alot of them are on this board. If you've ever laughed at a joke that targeted a specific group of people, you really can't talk.

Honestly, this thread should just get closed. The bickering will never stop. We've gone beyond the point of Tilted Humor.

*Agrees with T3m3st*

Et c'est fini... j'espere.