cameroncrazy822

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter
after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking
intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two
hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his
home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man
was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and
give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a
motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,
wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank
accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for
all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he
tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until
police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives
asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or
I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife
is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her
first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her
husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King
was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a
weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun... Unfortunately,
he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the
high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating,
were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every
maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of
trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone
there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the
out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and
pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

the_marq

#'s 6 and 8 are clearly urban myths, but still funny stuff.

__________________
The Truth:

Johnny Cash could have kicked Bruce Lee's ass if he wanted to.

#3 in a series

Delvid

But 6 & 8 are the funniest.

Ishmal

being the funniest is what makes me agree with Marq... they're probely Urban Myths.

__________________
"Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular."

Echodork

#1 is true. The VP's name was John Walters. I worked for the company when it happened... in 1997. He was hired into the company as a VP and tapped to take over the CEO chair from Robert Allen. He worked nine months, and the board decided that he wouldn't work out as a CEO. He was given his golden parachute, a $26 million severance package, some stock options, and went back to work for his old company.

jon_264

Do you think he had a permit for it??

wgheow

haahaha i like number 7 !

Mango

My wife took my sister inlaw to the hospital when she was in labor. When they arrived they wheeled sister in law away and asked my wife a bunch of questions she didn't know the answers to (she just happened to be around when sister inlaw needed to go to the hospital). One of the questions was "What is she having?" to which my wife answered "A baby." They wanted to know the interval between contractions.

StormBerlin

I highly doubt six is an urban myth... When my mom went to the ER with my dad cuz she was having contractions the nurse asked my dad if she (my mom) was in labor. My dad responded, "No, she doesn't work here." So yeah... panic can make people do strange things.

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"if anal sex could get a girl pregnant i'd be tits deep in child support" Arcane

red_zinfandel8

too true - moronic

joeshoe

Funny, but I don't think all of these happened in 2004, and some sound like urban myths.