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11-01-2004, 02:34 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: northamptonshire
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Girl friday
Ed finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a
Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life -- until the boat sank. He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people no supplies...Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. After about four months he was lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank. "Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." "Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But-but, that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?" "Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the South side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." Ed is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?" "No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I made a still. How about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. "WOW! This woman is amazing," he muses, "What next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing:......................... "You mean---", he swallows excitedly, "Are you serious? Can I check my e-mail from here?"
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Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila. [/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE] |
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11-01-2004, 03:16 PM
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#12 (permalink) |
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Upright
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It's a re-post
Its a repost from here: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=1333
though as always, with each telling a few minor things look changed... |
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| friday, girl |
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