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Old 11-01-2004, 02:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
Psycho
 
aphex140's Avatar
 
Location: northamptonshire
Girl friday

Ed finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a
Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life --
until
the boat sank. He found himself swept up on the shore of an island
with no other people no supplies...Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months he was lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he had ever seen
rowed up to him. In disbelief, he asked her,
"Where did you come from? How did you get here?" "I rowed from the
other side of the island," she said.
"I landed here when my cruise ship sank. "Amazing," he says. "You
were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."

"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw
material found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree
branches;
I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree."

"But-but, that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools or
hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the South side of
the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed.
I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into
forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to
make the hardware." Ed is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few minutes of rowing,
she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly
falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite
bungalow
painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with
an expertly woven hemp rope, he can only stare ahead, dumbstruck.
As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I
call it home.
Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?" "No, no thank you,"
he says,
still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice." "It's not coconut
juice," the woman replies. "I made a still. How about a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down
on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
like to take
a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the
bathroom." No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle.

Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end
inside
of a swivel mechanism. "WOW! This woman is amazing," he muses, "What
next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines
strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She
beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins
suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a
really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you
really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all
these months. You know..." She stares
into his eyes. He can't believe what he's
hearing:.........................









"You mean---", he swallows excitedly, "Are you serious? Can I check
my e-mail from here?"
__________________
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aphex140 is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 02:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
Psycho
 
ahahahahahahahah quite unexpected indeed.
Soda_BoB is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 03:56 AM   #3 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Ireland
Very good, great ending !
FatherTed is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 04:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
Psycho
 
aKula's Avatar
 
Nice, didn't see that coming, I guess he can post on tfp aswell.
aKula is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 05:17 AM   #5 (permalink)
Psycho
 
itch vaccine's Avatar
 
Location: on my spinning computer chair
wahahah!

that's awesome man!
itch vaccine is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 05:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: kuala lumpur, malaysia
haahahahha....damn man...tat was good!

haahahahahahaaha...somebody please...stop me from laughing..haha
wgheow is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 06:59 AM   #7 (permalink)
I and I
 
Location: Stillwater, OK
Oh man, hilarious!!
Gortexfogg is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 10:08 AM   #8 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Pensacola
Fantastic!
Racer is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 11:58 AM   #9 (permalink)
Insane
 
Cadwiz's Avatar
 
Location: work
That is just wrong.
__________________
Semper Fi
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Old 11-01-2004, 12:38 PM   #10 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: MD
Any man that says that deserves to have his tallywacker taken away!
avhg1 is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 01:34 PM   #11 (permalink)
Upright
 
good stuff!
apexink is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 03:16 PM   #12 (permalink)
Upright
 
It's a re-post

Its a repost from here: http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=1333

though as always, with each telling a few minor things look changed...
-Aaron- is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 03:36 PM   #13 (permalink)
Upright
 
Repost or not it's funny as hell. Nice one aphex!
Gopher is offline  
Old 11-01-2004, 05:32 PM   #14 (permalink)
Crazy
 
SO good,so good
Fohur2 is offline  
Old 11-03-2004, 08:47 AM   #15 (permalink)
Crazy
 
carrot glace's Avatar
 
Location: orange county
that was funny, gotta give him that
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carrot glace is offline  
Old 11-03-2004, 09:37 AM   #16 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Florida
great joke!!!!!! LMAO
contain1 is offline  
 

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