Ydde

These are supposely real answers given by 16 years old. Not sure if it's true, but they are worth a few chuckles!


Geography

Q. Name the four seasons?
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q Explain the processes by which water can be made safe to drink?
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What is a planet?
A. A body of earth surrounded by sky

Q. What causes the tides in the ocean?
A. The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the Moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.


Sociology

What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

In a democratic society, how important are elections?
Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

What are steroids?
Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.


Biology

What happens to your body when you age?
When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
Premature death.

What is artificial insemination?
When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

How can you delay milk turning sour?
Keep it in the cow (He got an A)

How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen)
The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax, the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowls, A,E,I,O and U.

What is the Fibula?
A small lie

What does "varicose" mean?
Nearby

What is the most common form of birth control?
Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"?
The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

What is a seizure?
A Roman emperor

What is a terminal illness?
When you are sick at the airport

Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.


English

Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (For overseas readers this refers to an advert for Fairy Liquid washing up soap - the strap line goes 'hands that do dishes can be soft as your face')

What does the word "benign" mean?
Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

superiorrain

Some of those answers are excellent wished i had the guts to write answers to questions like that in exams. We all know that we could have when we were in school.



It's funny because its true.

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"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible." - Arthur C. Clarke

WarriorBuddha

those are some good ones

thanks for the post

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Thockmorton knew if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.

albazeroex

lol;; just a gap in logic

Bustello

if you look at some responses in real life exams, they will look like this joke...

Delvid

I love these type of lists.

asaris

In a paper, one of my students wrote "Shakespeare was the greatest author of the 20th century."

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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."

"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

CinnamonGirl

Note to self: start flirting with liquid . I certainly don't want to find any dead sheep or canoe....rs in my water.

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Paradise Lost

That's classic and something I hope no normal human being ever put down as a REAL
answer to a REAL test...

dubyapeeay

Several years ago I had a book that was written by a teacher. It consisted of answers his students had submitted on tests. It was hilarious. This post reminds me of that, good job.

Misterfox

Students can put the most innane answers on tests. Sometimes it is funny, but more often it is just scary.

Flaymin'

Ha-ha-haa!
I'm SO gonna print these and show these to my fellow teachers!

BTW, these jokes are a good way to test Finnish 18 year-olds' english skills...
Thank you, Ydde.