Political: Kerry at the Cathedral
 

John Kerry was scheduled to visit the Catholic Cathedral outside Washington as part of his campaign. Kerry's campaign manager made a visit to the Cardinal and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Catholics because of Kerry's position on abortion and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say John Kerry is a saint."

The Cardinal thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."

Kerry shows up looking especially smug and as the Mass progresses the Cardinal begins his homily.

The Cardinal starts to speak.

"John Kerry is petty, a self absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a weasel. He wrote a book and portrayed himself in the best light when he was a traitor to his fellow servicemen. He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in for a medal. He married for money and is using it to lie to the American people. He is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally known. But compared to Ted Kennedy, John Kerry is a saint."

Well, he did call him a saint. Be careful, you might just get what you ask for.