Gender procedures for ATMs
 

I apologize in advance for this being sexist, but I think it's funny!


Gender procedures for ATMs

A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing
new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash
without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research,
MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."


MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE


1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside of
the back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty handbag, locate cardholder, and place and into the slot
provided.

23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting
behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

:lol:

So so true.... *runs away before he dies*

Haha that was good. :thumbsup:

*sideways glance* hey..we don't all *starts applying lipstick* blu blat...*puckers lips and smiles*

funny :) thank you for your post :)

Woo, glad I'm a male

it's so much shorter :)

Just emailed it to my wife.
Funny, she just replied telling me to cook my own meal tonight. - Wonder what that is all about?? :lol: :lol: :lol:

it's funny because it's true :p

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.

I admit I do this...but I have short arms :lol:

hahahahaha this is so true :lol: :lol:

ah so funny but wont share that one with my gf

"Release parking brake"

Good god this line had me cracking up. Perfect way to end the joke. Mine does that to her car all the time. So funny!

Haha, funny stuff. The "back up, retrieve card," and "drive two miles, release parking brake" were great.

Hey, some of us are just really short :lol:

Hilarous!!! So true, I was behind a lady the other day doing almost this exact same thing. Ladies are good for only one thing...(insert your reason)

thats freaking awesome... good job

Oh man, now that was funny stuff....... unless of course my girlfriend is reading this. Then it is totally unacceptable.

...but still funny...

that was a good one, it made me laugh

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

sounds typically female! JJ