Mens dictionary for womens personal ads - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

bullmoose · 10-19-2004, 07:54 AM

40-ish. = 49
Adventurous = Will sleep with all your buddies
Athletic = No tits
Average looking = Has a face like an arse
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious smile = Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure = On medication
Feminist = Bad hair and no dress sense
Free spirit = Junkie
Friendship first = Former slut
Fun = Annoying
Gentle = Dull
Good listner = Autistic
New-age = Body hair problems
Open minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud and embarrissing
Passionate = Sloppy drunk
Poet = Depressive
Professional = Bitch
Romantic = Frigid
Social = Fanny like a clowns pocket
Cuddly = Fat
Voluptuous = Very fat
Large lady = Hugely fat
Wants soul mate = Stalker
Widow = Murderer

fordluvr · 10-19-2004, 04:36 PM

The funniest/saddest part about this is that it's absolutely accurate.

StickODynomite · 10-19-2004, 04:50 PM

absolutely accurate? That's too bad. That just means that it doesn't matter what a woman says.. a man will make something bad of it?? Tisk tisk. This is about humor, not about bagging on gals.

Other than that... i think its pretty funny.

fordluvr · 10-19-2004, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StickODynomite

absolutely accurate? That's too bad. That just means that it doesn't matter what a woman says.. a man will make something bad of it?? Tisk tisk. This is about humor, not about bagging on gals.

Other than that... i think its pretty funny.

Sorry. I just got burned by one of these ads a few (several) years back and this post brought back the crummy memory. Didn't mean to offend any of our lady friends in TFP land. I prostrate myself before you!

kifferfong · 10-19-2004, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullmoose

Wants soul mate = Stalker
Widow = Murderer

Haha!

WarriorBuddha · 10-20-2004, 05:04 AM

Heard most of those before, but the ones I haven't are good

gar1976 · 10-20-2004, 07:44 AM

Friendship first = Former slut

This one cracked me up. You always get them after they've "reformed!"

KinkyKiwi · 10-20-2004, 03:28 PM

lol someone should post the man version...i'm sure that would be equally entertaining....

pmkuon · 10-21-2004, 04:24 AM

Outstanding

Ishmal · 11-17-2004, 11:29 PM

i especially liked the last one. good post bullmoose.

Julialast · 07-04-2009, 05:43 AM

DICTIONARY FOR MEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

1. Affectionate………………….. …… wants to have sex on the first date
2. Intelligent ………………………… won’t tell you until the first date what affectionate means
3. Passionate…………………………. ..wants sex early on or you’re finished
4. Self- Employed………………………unemployed and sells things on e-bay, insolvent
5. Free-Spirit……………………. ……. no job, no house, sleeps on a spare mattress
6. Fun-loving………………………….. wants sex with no commitment
7. Adventurous…………………………wants casual sex, phone and text sex, 3-somes, swinging
8. Open-minded………………………...wants the above and for you not to object
9. Friends first …………………. ….. .. impotent
10. Take things slowly…………………impotent and wants to see you tits without pressure to perform
11. Adventurous………… …… ……...wants sex in the car on the first date
12. Separated………………………….. married and wife doesn’t want sex
13. Mentions children’s TV……............ is interested in fiddling with those kiddies as well as you
14. Life & soul of party………………..mental
15. Outgoing…………………………...loud and embarrassing
16. Young attitude……………………..thinks they can pull 18-25 year olds
17. Log fires, beach walks…………… will say whatever it takes to have sex
18. Wants soul mate……………………doesn’t mind appearing a wuss to get sex
19. Women have done me wrong………wants a pity shag
20. Do anything for the right woman….has no money to go out and will blame this on you
21. Do anything for the right woman….is a tight-arse, but will blame this on you
22. About average………………………fat
23. A few extra pounds………………..John Goodman
24. 6 ft…………………………………5 ft 10”
25. Over 6ft……………………............odd looking and shrek-like
26. Over 40 & uses smilies…………….internet, MSN and/or porn addict
27. Heavy usage of site…………..........internet and porn addict
28. On multiple sites…………………. should be on Adult Friend Finder but hasn’t got nerve or is impotent

genuinegirly · 07-04-2009, 06:07 AM

Yes! Julialast, this is a great counterpoint! Got me laughing

10-19-2004, 07:54 AM	#1 (permalink)
bullmoose Wookie Location: Howdy from Oklahoma	Mens dictionary for womens personal ads 40-ish. = 49 Adventurous = Will sleep with all your buddies Athletic = No tits Average looking = Has a face like an arse Beautiful = Pathological liar Contagious smile = Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure = On medication Feminist = Bad hair and no dress sense Free spirit = Junkie Friendship first = Former slut Fun = Annoying Gentle = Dull Good listner = Autistic New-age = Body hair problems Open minded = Desperate Outgoing = Loud and embarrissing Passionate = Sloppy drunk Poet = Depressive Professional = Bitch Romantic = Frigid Social = Fanny like a clowns pocket Cuddly = Fat Voluptuous = Very fat Large lady = Hugely fat Wants soul mate = Stalker Widow = Murderer __________________ Rehab is for quitters.

10-19-2004, 04:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
fordluvr Perpetually Confused	The funniest/saddest part about this is that it's absolutely accurate. __________________ I trust no one. Not even myself. -- Josef Stalin

10-19-2004, 04:50 PM	#3 (permalink)
StickODynomite Insane Location: Arizona :\|	absolutely accurate? That's too bad. That just means that it doesn't matter what a woman says.. a man will make something bad of it?? Tisk tisk. This is about humor, not about bagging on gals. Other than that... i think its pretty funny. __________________ "The human mind is like a parachute, it works best when open."

10-20-2004, 05:04 AM	#6 (permalink)
WarriorBuddha Crazy Location: Japan	Heard most of those before, but the ones I haven't are good __________________ Thockmorton knew if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.

10-20-2004, 07:44 AM	#7 (permalink)
gar1976 Custom User Title Location: Lurking. Under the desk.	Friendship first = Former slut This one cracked me up. You always get them after they've "reformed!" __________________ Blistex, in regards to crappy games - They made pong look like a story driven RPG with a dynamic campaign.

10-20-2004, 03:28 PM	#8 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	lol someone should post the man version...i'm sure that would be equally entertaining.... __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

10-21-2004, 04:24 AM	#9 (permalink)
pmkuon Upright	Outstanding __________________ wea willis

11-17-2004, 11:29 PM	#10 (permalink)
Ishmal Wicked Clown Location: House Of Horrors	i especially liked the last one. good post bullmoose. __________________ "Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular."

07-04-2009, 05:43 AM	#11 (permalink)
Julialast Upright	Dictionar for men's personal ads DICTIONARY FOR MEN'S PERSONAL ADS: 1. Affectionate………………….. …… wants to have sex on the first date 2. Intelligent ………………………… won’t tell you until the first date what affectionate means 3. Passionate…………………………. ..wants sex early on or you’re finished 4. Self- Employed………………………unemployed and sells things on e-bay, insolvent 5. Free-Spirit……………………. ……. no job, no house, sleeps on a spare mattress 6. Fun-loving………………………….. wants sex with no commitment 7. Adventurous…………………………wants casual sex, phone and text sex, 3-somes, swinging 8. Open-minded………………………...wants the above and for you not to object 9. Friends first …………………. ….. .. impotent 10. Take things slowly…………………impotent and wants to see you tits without pressure to perform 11. Adventurous………… …… ……...wants sex in the car on the first date 12. Separated………………………….. married and wife doesn’t want sex 13. Mentions children’s TV……............ is interested in fiddling with those kiddies as well as you 14. Life & soul of party………………..mental 15. Outgoing…………………………...loud and embarrassing 16. Young attitude……………………..thinks they can pull 18-25 year olds 17. Log fires, beach walks…………… will say whatever it takes to have sex 18. Wants soul mate……………………doesn’t mind appearing a wuss to get sex 19. Women have done me wrong………wants a pity shag 20. Do anything for the right woman….has no money to go out and will blame this on you 21. Do anything for the right woman….is a tight-arse, but will blame this on you 22. About average………………………fat 23. A few extra pounds………………..John Goodman 24. 6 ft…………………………………5 ft 10” 25. Over 6ft……………………............odd looking and shrek-like 26. Over 40 & uses smilies…………….internet, MSN and/or porn addict 27. Heavy usage of site…………..........internet and porn addict 28. On multiple sites…………………. should be on Adult Friend Finder but hasn’t got nerve or is impotent

07-04-2009, 06:07 AM	#12 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Yes! Julialast, this is a great counterpoint! Got me laughing __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy