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09-29-2004, 02:01 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: somewhere
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Saying the Right Thing at the Right Time
hope this hasn't been here already..
Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot steak and eggs breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home about 3 A.M., blind stinking drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why did Mom put everything in order and so clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?" His son replied, "Oh that! Mom and I dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone! I'm a happily married man!" Breakfast - $10.00 Self-induced hangover - $70.00 Broken furniture - $250.00 Saying the right thing at the right time - priceless
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~my karma ran over my dogma.~ 
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09-29-2004, 07:33 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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lonely rolling star
Location: Seattle.
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aw...
how sweet!
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"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a. |
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09-29-2004, 08:08 PM
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#5 (permalink) |
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Free Mars!
Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
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LOL
As sweet it is, it's funny
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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war |
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09-30-2004, 07:06 PM
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#9 (permalink) |
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Banned
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i have a funny story to go for that. My ex and I used to have this joke...when i got really REALLY drunk, and she'd come sit next to me, i'd usually have my eyes closed already (just chilling in a seat somewhere) and she'd run her fingers in my hair... on her doing this, i'd say "are you my girlfriend?" and then grab her boobs. She'd giggle and enjoy it, and that would be that. Well, one time a friend of hers came and sat down next to me at a party (guess where this is going)... she runs her fingers through my hair (she's also a good friend of mine) and I say "are you my girlfriend?" as I'm reaching for the chest. I grab her boobs, and immediately realise that, no, they are not my girlfriend's. She was shocked as anything that i'd do that- meanwhile, my ex (was still with me at the time) is LAUGHING HER ASS OFF across the room. I pull my hands in and hold them under my arms, and then open my eyes slowly to see who i groped. Everything worked out fine, everyone thought it was funny as hell, especially my girl and her friend, who later both made me grope her for real, to make up for a half-grope earlier. Good times.
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| thing, time |
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