Daval

1. The last fight we had was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
2. In the beginning God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.

3. My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.

4. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mother-in-laws.

5. Young son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

6. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

7. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

8. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

9. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late."

10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look beautiful.

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"It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it."
Winston Churchill

Silverbrain

4 State troopers ...and a dog LOL!

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Over Thinking, Over Analyzing
Seperates the Body from the Mind - MJK

cchris

7. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

It's worth the money.

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There's a fine line between participation and mockery

josobot

marriage is like the harshness of reality...grin, bear it, if you make a decent choice, enjoy it

loganmule

these are all good, and have a similar sentiment to the Rod Stewart line that instead of getting married again, he'd just find a woman he didn't like and give her a house

Sion

11. Q: why is divorce so expensive? A: because it's worth it.

12. Marriage is an institution. And anyone who voluntarily get married more than once should be put in one.

13. Engagement ring. Wedding ring. Suffering.

14. Sure fire cure for nymphomania: 5th wedding anniversary.

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He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...

small one

The bride says three things in church:-

AISLE

ALTAR

HYMN

TwoToTango

Every time this gets posted -- which is
pretty often -- I have to reply:

Laugh now, youngsters. Come back after
20-odd years of marriage and see how
many of these strike you as funny.

Prophecy

" In the first year of marriage, the man speaks & the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks & the man listens. In the third year, they both & the neighbors listen."

"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife."

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La Disciplina È La Mia Spada,
La Fede È Il Mio Schermo,
Non salti Ciecamente In Incertezza,
E Potete Raccogliere Le Ricompense.

clifclav

four state troopers and a dog indeed. very clever

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Neither rain , nor cold, nor dark of night shall.......ahh whatever, just get me a beer!

Zooksport2

Very funny. Loved them all.....

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portieri

"Dust", pretty f***ing funny.