Top Ten Marriage Quotes
 

1. The last fight we had was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
2. In the beginning God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.

3. My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.

4. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mother-in-laws.

5. Young son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

6. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

7. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

8. If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

9. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late."

10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look beautiful.

4 State troopers ...and a dog LOL!

7. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

It's worth the money.

marriage is like the harshness of reality...grin, bear it, if you make a decent choice, enjoy it

these are all good, and have a similar sentiment to the Rod Stewart line that instead of getting married again, he'd just find a woman he didn't like and give her a house

11. Q: why is divorce so expensive? A: because it's worth it.

12. Marriage is an institution. And anyone who voluntarily get married more than once should be put in one.

13. Engagement ring. Wedding ring. Suffering.

14. Sure fire cure for nymphomania: 5th wedding anniversary.

The bride says three things in church:-

AISLE

ALTAR

HYMN

Re: Top Ten Marriage Quotes
 

Every time this gets posted -- which is
pretty often -- I have to reply:

Laugh now, youngsters. Come back after
20-odd years of marriage and see how
many of these strike you as funny.

" In the first year of marriage, the man speaks & the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks & the man listens. In the third year, they both & the neighbors listen."

"When a man opens the door of his car for his wife you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife."

four state troopers and a dog indeed. very clever

Very funny. Loved them all.....

"Dust", pretty f***ing funny.