Jack Handey Quote of the Day 9-08-04 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

yster · 09-07-2004, 09:15 PM

More from "Fuzzy Memories"

Of all my imaginary friends, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill.

(one more)

Grandpa used to describe the size of everything in terms of a calf. For instance, if he was describing a large dog, he would say it was "about as big as a calf." Or about a car, he would say it "could seat for calves comfortably." (Oh, that was another thing: how many calves could ride in something.)
One time he was talking about a calf he had, and I asked him how big it was. He said it was "about three-quarters as big as a calf."
Sometimes Grandpa would tell time by calves. If you asked him how long something would take, he'd say "About as long as it takes a calf to drive over here."

Long funny one will be posted tommorrow! (one of my favorites)

WarriorBuddha · 09-08-2004, 04:50 AM

That first one's great.

CoachAlan · 09-08-2004, 12:41 PM

That first one's getting stored away to spring on some unsuspecting conversationalist one day.

09-07-2004, 09:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
yster Tilted	Jack Handey Quote of the Day 9-08-04 More from "Fuzzy Memories" Of all my imaginary friends, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill. (one more) Grandpa used to describe the size of everything in terms of a calf. For instance, if he was describing a large dog, he would say it was "about as big as a calf." Or about a car, he would say it "could seat for calves comfortably." (Oh, that was another thing: how many calves could ride in something.) One time he was talking about a calf he had, and I asked him how big it was. He said it was "about three-quarters as big as a calf." Sometimes Grandpa would tell time by calves. If you asked him how long something would take, he'd say "About as long as it takes a calf to drive over here." Long funny one will be posted tommorrow! (one of my favorites)

09-08-2004, 04:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
WarriorBuddha Crazy Location: Japan	That first one's great. __________________ Thockmorton knew if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.

09-08-2004, 12:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
CoachAlan Psycho Location: Las Vegas	That first one's getting stored away to spring on some unsuspecting conversationalist one day. __________________ "If I cannot smoke cigars in heaven, I shall not go!" - Mark Twain