Mathematics and other things you need an education in - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

JadziaDax · 05-13-2003, 05:27 PM

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his life can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

cchris · 05-13-2003, 05:47 PM

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Ha ha

I'm laughing on the inside.

blaze · 05-13-2003, 07:45 PM

Haha I like the shopping math ones.

Its funny cause its true. hahaha

pazza · 05-13-2003, 07:49 PM

hehe

Quote:

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Those are great

mirevolver · 05-14-2003, 01:18 AM

Like the last one

small one · 05-14-2003, 01:34 AM

True, oh so bloody true

Man only does two things wrong:-
Everything he says
Everything he does

krazykemist · 05-15-2003, 04:22 AM

That last one is the best.

sltkr2000 · 05-15-2003, 04:50 AM

the last one is the best, I will do it the next time someone bothers me.

05-13-2003, 05:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
JadziaDax Loser Location: who the fuck cares?	Mathematics and other things you need an education in ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his life can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

05-13-2003, 05:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Ha ha I'm laughing on the inside. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

05-14-2003, 01:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
mirevolver Inspired by the mind's eye. Location: Between the darkness and the light.	Like the last one __________________ Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.

05-15-2003, 04:22 AM	#7 (permalink)
krazykemist Psycho Location: New Orleans	That last one is the best. __________________ "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." -- Tolstoy

05-13-2003, 07:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
blaze Insane Location: In a van, down by the river	Haha I like the shopping math ones. Its funny cause its true. hahaha

05-14-2003, 01:34 AM	#6 (permalink)
small one Banned Location: York	True, oh so bloody true Man only does two things wrong:- Everything he says Everything he does

05-15-2003, 04:50 AM	#8 (permalink)
sltkr2000 Upright	the last one is the best, I will do it the next time someone bothers me.