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Old 08-19-2004, 01:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: In the middle of the desert.
Jesus Saves!

The bartender in the pub was washing his glasses when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool and pulled himself up painfully for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down here?"

The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, too.

The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back who moved very slowly. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar. The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti too.

The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there...? The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one too.

As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus touched the Italian and said "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door. Jesus walked toward the redneck.

The redneck jumped back. "Don't touch me!" he screamed. "I'm on disability!"
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Old 08-19-2004, 06:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Home sweet home
hahahaha! thats gotta be one of the best redneck joke i've heard/read in a while..
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Old 08-19-2004, 06:41 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: In a van, down by the river
Hahaha nice. He's a pretty smart redneck to know that Jesus would of helped his job situation. But nonetheless hilarious.
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Old 08-20-2004, 01:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
DILLIGAF
 
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Location: AZ
Several of my co-workers have this redneck joke battle goin on and tomorrow I am gonna drop that one on them like"fatman". And I will win their little war once and for all.
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Old 08-20-2004, 03:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Stillwater, OK
Funny stuff!
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Old 08-21-2004, 03:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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That's great!!
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Old 08-23-2004, 10:22 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: the double L
man, that sort of thing never gets old
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Old 08-23-2004, 10:27 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Missouri
Thanks for the laugh.
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