Jadedfox

An American Golfer

An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found
a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him. "Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked."Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square.
Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?"

"Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything. I'm just glad you're OK, and I
apologize. I really didn't mean to hit you".

And the golfer walks off. "What a nice guy," the Leprechaun says to himself. "But it was fair and square that he got me, and I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want....a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."

A year goes by (as it does in stories like this) and the American golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the leprechaun is there waiting for him. "Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy says. "I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?"

"My game is fantastic!" the golfer answers. "In fact, that's the first bad ball I've hit in a year! I'm an internationally famous golfer now." He adds, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right."

"Oh, I'm fine now, thankee I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?"

"Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer states. "I win fortunes in golf, and if I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I didn't even know they were there!"

"I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how's yer sex life?"

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, "It's OK."

"C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times
a day?"

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, "Once, sometimes twice a week."

"What??" responds the Leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Only once or twice a week?"

"Well, says the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."



--jaded

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There is no fucking you, there is only me.

DDDDave

Excellent.

__________________
I am just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe...

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Thoreau

"Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm" - Emerson

mojodragon

OMG!!! That one just came out of bum fucking nowhere! I'm going to have to tell that one tomorrow. That was great! It's hard to type, I'm laughing so hard.

Delvid

Excellent. Got me with the finish.

CoachAlan

That's one helluva surprise ending. Nice work.

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"If I cannot smoke cigars in heaven, I shall not go!"
- Mark Twain

Ilow

classic.

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"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris

Jackebear

good one

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Life's jounney is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn-out shouting, "Holy sh*t! What a ride!" - unknown

deportes

exellent

cchris

Left field or what?

5 stars.

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There's a fine line between participation and mockery

Arc101

Yeah I like that one

Dawson70

ooooooooo..........:0

__________________
"I Finally Finished My Goal....You Can Too!

Yippie Ki Ya...

byesman

good one! Thanks, didn't see it coming.

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If after I depart this vale you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost,
forgive some sinner, and wink your eye at some homely girl.

H.L. Mencken

kinsaj

very good one. thanks

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boom

gump

that was pretty cool

Gabbyness

Oh man, didn't expect that one.