New Doctor Visit - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

cameroncrazy822 · 08-02-2004, 05:54 AM

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and
exhaustive lab test, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do
you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"

"Oh no", I replied. "I've never done either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy."

Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing
golf/sailing/ballooning/motorcycling/rock climbing?"

"No I don't", I said.

He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"

"No", I said. "I have never done any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit if you live to be
80?"

Cadwiz · 08-02-2004, 07:57 AM

No kidding.

nogoodreason · 08-02-2004, 08:29 AM

fucking hilarious.

KirStang · 08-02-2004, 09:15 AM

"Eat right, stay fit, die anyway

"

That quote comes to mind.

CoachAlan · 08-02-2004, 10:22 AM

That's fantastic. It really shows where those health nuts are missing the boat.

Mantus · 08-02-2004, 01:01 PM

great joke.

Gortexfogg · 08-02-2004, 08:47 PM

Nice one!

basmoq · 08-03-2004, 08:17 AM

Very nice

bullmoose · 08-03-2004, 12:35 PM

Very good one. I'll pass it along.

Cervantes · 08-03-2004, 12:55 PM

HAHA!! So true!

phedre · 08-03-2004, 06:18 PM

lol heh i saw that one coming although it still delivered a good laugh

Delvid · 08-04-2004, 01:17 PM

Dr. is right on.

cameroncrazy822 · 08-04-2004, 07:47 PM

There has to be a happy medium somewhere folks. This is a good joke but we can't take it literally to rationalize an unhealthy lifestyle. We have to find a middle ground that enables us to benefit from the efforts towards a healthy lifestyle but temper that with the leeway to enjoy the days we have while living.... A conundrum if I ever heard one.

small one · 08-05-2004, 02:04 AM

True, how true

jwoody · 08-05-2004, 05:25 AM

Good, clean jokes are such a rarity these days.

bullmoose · 08-05-2004, 07:33 AM

Ilow · 08-05-2004, 07:01 PM

right on

deportes · 08-06-2004, 05:39 PM

great joke, live it up.

08-02-2004, 05:54 AM	#1 (permalink)
cameroncrazy822 Junkie Location: MD	New Doctor Visit I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab test, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" He asked, "well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no", I replied. "I've never done either." Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy." Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf/sailing/ballooning/motorcycling/rock climbing?" "No I don't", I said. He said, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?" "No", I said. "I have never done any of those things." He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit if you live to be 80?"

08-02-2004, 07:57 AM	#2 (permalink)
Cadwiz Insane Location: work	No kidding. __________________ Semper Fi

08-02-2004, 08:29 AM	#3 (permalink)
nogoodreason Insane Location: in your imagination	fucking hilarious. __________________ I'm not sarcastic. I mean it.

08-02-2004, 10:22 AM	#5 (permalink)
CoachAlan Psycho Location: Las Vegas	That's fantastic. It really shows where those health nuts are missing the boat. __________________ "If I cannot smoke cigars in heaven, I shall not go!" - Mark Twain

08-03-2004, 08:17 AM	#8 (permalink)
basmoq It's a girly girl! Location: OH, USA	Very nice __________________ "There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them."

08-02-2004, 01:01 PM	#6 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	great joke.

08-02-2004, 08:47 PM	#7 (permalink)
Gortexfogg I and I Location: Stillwater, OK	Nice one!

08-03-2004, 12:35 PM	#9 (permalink)
bullmoose Wookie Location: Howdy from Oklahoma	Very good one. I'll pass it along. __________________ Rehab is for quitters.

08-03-2004, 12:55 PM	#10 (permalink)
Cervantes Psycho Location: Above you	HAHA!! So true! __________________ - "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.." - "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong." - "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

08-03-2004, 06:18 PM	#11 (permalink)
phedre Upright Location: NYC, baby!	lol heh i saw that one coming although it still delivered a good laugh

08-04-2004, 01:17 PM	#12 (permalink)
Delvid Insane Location: Missouri	Dr. is right on.

08-04-2004, 07:47 PM	#13 (permalink)
cameroncrazy822 Junkie Location: MD	There has to be a happy medium somewhere folks. This is a good joke but we can't take it literally to rationalize an unhealthy lifestyle. We have to find a middle ground that enables us to benefit from the efforts towards a healthy lifestyle but temper that with the leeway to enjoy the days we have while living.... A conundrum if I ever heard one. Last edited by cameroncrazy822; 08-05-2004 at 04:52 AM..

08-05-2004, 02:04 AM	#14 (permalink)
small one Banned Location: York	True, how true

08-05-2004, 05:25 AM	#15 (permalink)
jwoody Shackle Me Not Location: Newcastle - England.	Good, clean jokes are such a rarity these days. __________________ .

08-05-2004, 07:33 AM	#16 (permalink)
bullmoose Wookie Location: Howdy from Oklahoma	X __________________ Rehab is for quitters. Last edited by bullmoose; 08-05-2004 at 07:36 AM..

08-05-2004, 07:01 PM	#17 (permalink)
Ilow Junkie Location: Pats country	right on __________________ "Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about" --Sam Harris

08-06-2004, 05:39 PM	#18 (permalink)
deportes Psycho	great joke, live it up.