05-12-2003, 05:30 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Loser
Location: who the fuck cares?
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In Memoriam for The Pillsbury Doughboy
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemina delivered the eulogy and lovingly described the Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very (smart) cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was considered a roll model by many, even as a crusty old man. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. |
Tags |
doughboy, memoriam, pillsbury |
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