Bamrak

The following was taken from actual employee evaluations:
1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.

2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

3. I would not allow this man to breed.

4. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.

5. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

6. When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

8. This man has delusions of adequacy.

9. He sets low personal standards and the consistently fails to achieve them.

10. This employee should go far -- the sooner he starts, the better.

11. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

12. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

13. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.

14. A room temperature I.Q.

15. Got a full six-pack, but is missing the plastic thingy that holds it together.

16. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

17. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

18. A prime candidate for natural deselection.

19.Bright as Alaska in December.

20. One-celled organisms outscore him in I.Q. tests.

21. Donated his brain to science before he was quite finished using it.

22. Fell out of his family tree.

23. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the trains isn't coming.

24. This man has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

25. He's so dense,light bends around him.

26. If brains were taxed, he would get a rebate.

27. Any dumber and he would have to be watered twice a week.

28. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change back.

29. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

30. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

31. One neuron short of a synapse.

32. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he gargled.

33. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.

34. Not the brightest bulb in the chandelier

PayUp

Nice list.
Some of those are far to true.

__________________
Born to Lose.

Delvid

Some of those will be put to use soon. Excellent list.

edmos1

haha, (mental note: when filling out my performance review, stay away from the above comments)


Good stuff, I think we must have all worked with one of the above

bacon_masta

i think i work with that guy....great post

fuzyfuzer

i think i saw this on this site

"The wheel is turning but the hampster is dead"

always love that one

__________________
"The difference between commiment and involvment is like a ham and egg breakfast the chicken was involved but the pig was commited"

"Thrice happy is the nation that has a glorious history. Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

HeAtHeN

Number Nine is the best.... and I've seen it used,

__________________