tekaweni

This isnt technically a joke, so feel free to move it if it doesnt belong here...

The Washington Post's Style Invitational this year again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supplying a new definition.

Here are this year's winners.

<b>Intaxication</b>: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.

<b>Reintarnation</b>: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

<b>Bozone (n.)</b>: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

<b>Foreploy</b>: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

<b>Cashtration (n.)</b>: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

<b>Giraffiti</b>: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.

<b>Sarchasm</b>: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

<b>Inoculatte</b>: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

<b>Hipatitis</b>: Terminal coolness.

<b>Osteopornosis</b>: A degenerate disease.

<b>Karmageddon</b>: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

<b>Decafalon (n.)</b>: The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

<b>Glibido</b>: All talk and no action.

<b>Dopeler effect</b>: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

<b>Arachnoleptic fit (n.)</b>: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

<b>Beelzebug (n.)</b>: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

<b>Caterpallor (n.)</b>: The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

<b>Ignoranus</b>: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

skier

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

I like this one. I can definetly identify with this.

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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

denim

Those are GREAT!!

PayUp

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
I know so many of these.

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Born to Lose.

Bamrak

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

That my favorite. Nice find!

Dilbert1234567

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.


my fav.

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Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

mofonyx

wahhahah! Bozone!

Kllr Wolf

I like them all. Readers Digest has them sometimes as well.

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Caffeine - the molecule of life.

Shpoop

hah i like foreploy

sarchasm seem useful too

Kazic

love those.

__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

yoda77

the best for last great list

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DRINK,SMOKE AND LAUGH