The Best of the Bumper Stickers
 

Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
We're staying together for the sake of the cats.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
My karma ran over your dogma.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack Ambition.
This is not an abandoned vehicle.
I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus.
Welcome to Texas, now go home.
It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.
Life's too short to dance with ugly men.
Life's too short to dance with ugly women.
My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.
When you do a good deed get a receipt (in case heaven is like the IRS).
I is a college student.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
Beer isn't just for breakfast any more.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Eschew obfuscation.
Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Is there life before coffee?
Never play leap frog with a unicorn.
Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.
I Cayman went.
My other wife is beautiful.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.
Geez if you belive in honkus.
Friends don't let friends drive naked.
Save California; when you leave take someone with you.
I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.
Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats.
If it's too loud, you're too old.
Wink. I'll do the rest.
The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.
An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the earth.
Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
Who cares who's on board?
No radio. Already stolen.
Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.
Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities.
Exxon Suxx.
Honk if you love cheeses.
Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
So many pedestrians, so little time.

that just about covers em all

I brake for tailgaters.

i have one on my car that says "i'm a fucking genius" :). it's from www.unamerican.com they have a bunch of great stickers.

Honk if like peace and quiet

Tuff Schist.... geology joke.... sorry no more to come

* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
* W- How can a letter have three syllables?

I liked these went kinda like this:

"If 10% is good enough for god, than why not the government?"

"Stop inbreeding, ban country music"

the bumper sticker on my last car ('93 Tercel) that I found in the gift shop of the St. Augustine Ripley's Believe it or Not:
I love cats, they taste just like chicken
got some great responses the years I owned that car.

Horn broken, watch for finger.

I found a bumper sticker that said

"Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men"

and chopped off the last "n".

Re: The Best of the Bumper Stickers
 

Dorothy: Hate you, hate Oz, taking the slippers. Toto.

So many cats, so few recipes.

Ankh if you love Isis.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.



Nobody died when Clinton lied.

Keep honking. I'm reloading.

Hang up and drive

-Will

Couple I would like:
"Jesus thinks you're a jerk"
"Tax the Self Righteous"
"The Christian Right is Neither"
"Tax The Churches"
"When GOD said 'Thou Shalt Not Kill', I think He meant it."
"One Day I will be a Decrepit Polack, and I won't be infallible either."
"I love Children, but I don't think I could eat a whole one."
"If they ban marriage, only outlaws will have in-laws"

That's Gneiss.

"I don't pull out."

Reminds me of a person I know who had a good saying. "Good friends show up at 3 am to bail you out of county. True friends are sitting next to you saying 'Man we fucked up.'"

It's a stoplight. Not a choice.

"The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own"

I saw this driving home from work one night.

I brake for beer.

I brake for hallucinations.

Yuck Fou!

one to put on the front bumper, so it can be read in the rear view by the jerk in front of you: "?elohssa, rewols yna og uoy dluoC"

These were mentioned earlier, but I saw them on each side of the rear bumper of a classic VW microbus.... (Left) "GAS, GRASS, or ASS...Nobody rides for free" (Right) Don't laugh, your wife may be in here"

And my all time favorite - " I don't have to be dead to donate my organ"

i got one,

"honk if youe never seen an uzi fired from a car window"

all great stickers, good post

You can trust the Federal Government. Just ask an Indian.

lol. that caught me offguard

My favorite:

Yes, this is my truck
and, No, you can't use it to move.

That's a lotta good ones :) I love www.unamerican.com too, lotsa great ones there as well.

USMC Sniper : Don't try and run, you'll just die tired.

that's a great collection, and some classic responses

My current fav: WHAT WOULD OZZIE DO

Misspelled Ozzy didnt' I.

:o :lol: HAHAhaaaa! I love it!
---
"Honk if you love noise pollution." :p

Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill it.

..

Hmmm.....

<idea forms in Quadraton's head>

Cats, the other white meat.

How much better would you drive with your phone shoved up your a$$?

Get in, Sit down, Shut Up, and Hold on!

My favorite is still

Jesus saves, but Espo scores on the rebound!!!!!

- Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
(from a Simpsons episode)

- Curb your Dogma
(spotted at Mardi Gras)

In small print: Would you like a saddle to ride my ass with?

My ass hurts, mind if I ride yours for a while?

I Brake for Fun

I'd rather be fucking your wife!

...Just a few I've either seen on the road or in my head...

LOL!
Who's Espo? :P Funny!