Canadian Election-not so funny - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

icy_ca · 06-01-2004, 05:38 AM

This is from another board and IMO worthy of sharing...

CLASSIC VERSION OF THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE CANADIAN MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving.

CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavua with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."

Svend Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to the US, starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.

fizzledorf · 06-01-2004, 08:10 AM

frighteningly similar to something you'd see on cbc at night! but still funny of course...

CSflim · 06-01-2004, 10:29 AM

Yes. We all know that the only reason people are less well of than ourselves is because they are shamefully lazy.

icy_ca · 06-01-2004, 11:15 AM

An unfortunate use of the rotten apple vs the barrel syndrome...of course the CBC covering the people living under the Gardner bridge in Toronto and being too good for a "McJob" of "giving in to the man", but are encouraged to live like a troll helps the ant a lot.

06-01-2004, 05:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
icy_ca Insane Location: Steel Town, Ontario	Canadian Election-not so funny This is from another board and IMO worthy of sharing... CLASSIC VERSION OF THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE CANADIAN MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving. CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavua with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome." Svend Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. The ant moves to the US, starts a successful agribiz company. The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000. The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. __________________ After all is said and done, more is said than done.

06-01-2004, 10:29 AM	#3 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	Yes. We all know that the only reason people are less well of than ourselves is because they are shamefully lazy. __________________

06-01-2004, 11:15 AM	#4 (permalink)
icy_ca Insane Location: Steel Town, Ontario	An unfortunate use of the rotten apple vs the barrel syndrome...of course the CBC covering the people living under the Gardner bridge in Toronto and being too good for a "McJob" of "giving in to the man", but are encouraged to live like a troll helps the ant a lot. __________________ After all is said and done, more is said than done.

06-01-2004, 08:10 AM	#2 (permalink)
fizzledorf Insane	frighteningly similar to something you'd see on cbc at night! but still funny of course...