personal ad wordings - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

aphex140 · 05-18-2004, 02:54 AM

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.............................................49
Adventurous.................Slept with all your mates
Athletic......................................No tits
Average looking...............Has a face like an arse
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
Educated....................Was f*cked to bits at Uni
Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Dictio Feminist..................Bad hair and no dress sense
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................Former sl*t
Fun..........................................Annoying
Gentle...........................................Dull
Good Listener...............................Autistic
New-Age............................Body hair problems
Old-fashioned..........................No BJs or ****
Open-minded.................................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.......................................Depressive
Professional....................................Bitch
Romantic.......................................Frigid
Social.....................Fanny like a clowns pocket
Cuddly............................................Fat
Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
Large lady.................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
Widow........................................Murderer

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Maybe
3. Maybe = No
4. We need... = I want...
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = But you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good film on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = Yes
2. No = No
3. Maybe = Maybe
4. I am hungry = I am hungry
5. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
6. I am tired = I am tired
7. Nice dress = Nice tits
8. I love you = Let's have sex
9. I am bored = Let's have sex
10. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
11. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
13. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
14. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
16. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
17. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person - because I'd like to have sex with you.
18. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

cameroncrazy822 · 05-18-2004, 07:17 AM

That should be in stone somewhere and protected for future generations to learn from.

mofonyx · 05-18-2004, 08:00 AM

Gagh! Men's english !! So true so true!

blkdmnd · 05-18-2004, 10:40 AM

Very funny. Especially "average looking" "has a face like an arse"

cchris · 05-19-2004, 05:15 AM

Social.....................Fanny like a clowns pocket

That is a saver.

Dilbert1234567 · 05-19-2004, 10:07 AM

big heart......................Enlarged aorta

NoSoup · 05-19-2004, 12:56 PM

15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you

gar1976 · 05-19-2004, 02:43 PM

Test out your new-found vocab skills on the local PDX rag personals.

All the good ones are in the "no strings attached" section on the left, this is the "women seeking women" section.

http://www.wweek.com/personals/perss..._category=7200

vector_1979 · 05-20-2004, 10:51 AM

Hee hee. It's so true!

KellyC · 05-20-2004, 05:03 PM

17. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person - because I'd like to have sex with you.

the gig is up guys....

Silverbrain · 05-23-2004, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by cameroncrazy822
That should be in stone somewhere and protected for future generations to learn from.

I second that )

Destrox · 05-24-2004, 07:35 PM

Funny as it can get!

duckduck · 05-24-2004, 07:43 PM

Again, one of those "funny cuz it's true" jokes.

05-18-2004, 02:54 AM	#1 (permalink)
aphex140 Psycho Location: northamptonshire	personal ad wordings DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS: 40-ish.............................................49 Adventurous.................Slept with all your mates Athletic......................................No tits Average looking...............Has a face like an arse Beautiful...........................Pathological liar Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills Educated....................Was fcked to bits at Uni Emotionally Secure......................On medication Dictio Feminist..................Bad hair and no dress sense Free spirit....................................Junkie Friendship first..........................Former slt Fun..........................................Annoying Gentle...........................................Dull Good Listener...............................Autistic New-Age............................Body hair problems Old-fashioned..........................No BJs or **** Open-minded.................................Desperate Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk Poet.......................................Depressive Professional....................................Bitch Romantic.......................................Frigid Social.....................Fanny like a clowns pocket Cuddly............................................Fat Voluptuous...................................Very Fat Large lady.................................Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker Widow........................................Murderer WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Maybe 3. Maybe = No 4. We need... = I want... 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = I need to complain 7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to 8. Do what you want = But you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead 11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me 12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs 13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot 14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive 15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now 16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? 17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good film on TV 18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like MEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = Yes 2. No = No 3. Maybe = Maybe 4. I am hungry = I am hungry 5. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 6. I am tired = I am tired 7. Nice dress = Nice tits 8. I love you = Let's have sex 9. I am bored = Let's have sex 10. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question 11. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 12. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 13. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 14. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you 15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you 16. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins. 17. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person - because I'd like to have sex with you. 18. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay __________________ Computers allow us to make more mistakes at a faster rate than any other man-made thing, with the exception of handguns and tequila. [/QUOTE=BAMF]Do they role a die, with a 1/3 chance of being flacid?[/QUOTE]

05-18-2004, 10:40 AM	#4 (permalink)
blkdmnd Addict	Very funny. Especially "average looking" "has a face like an arse" __________________ I blow my nose at you. Now go away before I taunt you a second time.

05-19-2004, 05:15 AM	#5 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	Social.....................Fanny like a clowns pocket That is a saver. __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

05-19-2004, 10:07 AM	#6 (permalink)
Dilbert1234567 Devils Cabana Boy Location: Central Coast CA	big heart......................Enlarged aorta __________________ Donate Blood! "Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

05-20-2004, 10:51 AM	#9 (permalink)
vector_1979 Insane Location: In a Caddy Shack	Hee hee. It's so true! __________________ ------------------------------------------------ Tip: Never do your shoe lace up in a revolving door

05-18-2004, 07:17 AM	#2 (permalink)
cameroncrazy822 Junkie Location: MD	That should be in stone somewhere and protected for future generations to learn from.

05-18-2004, 08:00 AM	#3 (permalink)
mofonyx Banned Location: On a couch before a screen	Gagh! Men's english !! So true so true!

05-19-2004, 12:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
NoSoup Non-Rookie Location: Green Bay, WI	15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you

05-19-2004, 02:43 PM	#8 (permalink)
gar1976 Custom User Title Location: Lurking. Under the desk.	Test out your new-found vocab skills on the local PDX rag personals. All the good ones are in the "no strings attached" section on the left, this is the "women seeking women" section. http://www.wweek.com/personals/perss..._category=7200

05-20-2004, 05:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	17. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person - because I'd like to have sex with you. the gig is up guys.... __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

05-24-2004, 07:35 PM	#12 (permalink)
Destrox Metal and Rock 4 Life Location: Phoenix	Funny as it can get! __________________ You bore me.... next.

05-24-2004, 07:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
duckduck Psycho Location: Where hockey pucks run rampant	Again, one of those "funny cuz it's true" jokes. __________________ Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!