personal ad wordings
 

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.............................................49
Adventurous.................Slept with all your mates
Athletic......................................No tits
Average looking...............Has a face like an arse
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
Educated....................Was f*cked to bits at Uni
Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Dictio Feminist..................Bad hair and no dress sense
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................Former sl*t
Fun..........................................Annoying
Gentle...........................................Dull
Good Listener...............................Autistic
New-Age............................Body hair problems
Old-fashioned..........................No BJs or ****
Open-minded.................................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.......................................Depressive
Professional....................................Bitch
Romantic.......................................Frigid
Social.....................Fanny like a clowns pocket
Cuddly............................................Fat
Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
Large lady.................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
Widow........................................Murderer

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Maybe
3. Maybe = No
4. We need... = I want...
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = But you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good film on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = Yes
2. No = No
3. Maybe = Maybe
4. I am hungry = I am hungry
5. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
6. I am tired = I am tired
7. Nice dress = Nice tits
8. I love you = Let's have sex
9. I am bored = Let's have sex
10. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
11. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
13. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
14. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
16. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.
17. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person - because I'd like to have sex with you.
18. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay:lol:

That should be in stone somewhere and protected for future generations to learn from.

Gagh! Men's english !! So true so true!

Very funny. Especially "average looking" "has a face like an arse"

Social.....................Fanny like a clowns pocket



That is a saver. :lol:

big heart......................Enlarged aorta

15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
:lol:

Test out your new-found vocab skills on the local PDX rag personals.

All the good ones are in the "no strings attached" section on the left, this is the "women seeking women" section.

http://www.wweek.com/personals/perss..._category=7200

Hee hee. It's so true!

17. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person - because I'd like to have sex with you.
:lol: the gig is up guys....

I second that )

Funny as it can get! :D

Again, one of those "funny cuz it's true" jokes.