Big City Lawyer and the Southern Boy - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

CSflim · 05-09-2004, 02:18 PM

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own. The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pat. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.You can have the duck"

KellyC · 05-09-2004, 04:32 PM

holy shit that's brutal.

MooseMan3000 · 05-09-2004, 06:25 PM

Traff · 05-09-2004, 06:44 PM

all that for a duck
ha ha!

fizzledorf · 05-11-2004, 04:44 AM

wow, nothing like local custom...

japhyryder · 05-11-2004, 08:45 AM

That is great I have the whole office laughing

CamaroRS1967 · 05-11-2004, 12:48 PM

Thanks, that made my day.

nash · 05-17-2004, 10:23 AM

hahaha.

In elementary school, I remember we would have contests on who could hit the softest. So you let the other person hit you, and they would try to hit lightly. Then when it's your turn, you slug him. Then you say, "I guess you win!"

Luki · 05-24-2004, 06:50 AM

That is hillarious! Gotta love country guys!

05-09-2004, 02:18 PM	#1 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	Big City Lawyer and the Southern Boy A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own. The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pat. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.You can have the duck" __________________

05-09-2004, 04:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
KellyC Comment or else!! Location: Home sweet home	holy shit that's brutal. __________________ Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe? Me: Shit happens.

05-09-2004, 06:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
MooseMan3000 wouldn't mind being a ninja. Location: Maine, the Other White State.	hah!

05-09-2004, 06:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
Traff Upright Location: with Rubyee	all that for a duck ha ha! __________________ The rug it really tied the room together

05-11-2004, 08:45 AM	#6 (permalink)
japhyryder no one special Location: Charlotte, NC	That is great I have the whole office laughing __________________ It's only entertainment, someone's sick idea of a joke.

05-11-2004, 04:44 AM	#5 (permalink)
fizzledorf Insane	wow, nothing like local custom...

05-11-2004, 12:48 PM	#7 (permalink)
CamaroRS1967 Insane	Thanks, that made my day.

05-17-2004, 10:23 AM	#8 (permalink)
nash Psycho	hahaha. In elementary school, I remember we would have contests on who could hit the softest. So you let the other person hit you, and they would try to hit lightly. Then when it's your turn, you slug him. Then you say, "I guess you win!"

05-24-2004, 06:50 AM	#9 (permalink)
Luki Crazy Location: Central Illinois	That is hillarious! Gotta love country guys! __________________ Your part is silent you little toad - a line from the new phantom of the opera