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Old 05-09-2004, 02:18 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Ireland
Big City Lawyer and the Southern Boy

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own. The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pat. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.You can have the duck"
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Old 05-09-2004, 04:32 PM   #2 (permalink)
Comment or else!!
 
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Location: Home sweet home
holy shit that's brutal.
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Old 05-09-2004, 06:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
wouldn't mind being a ninja.
 
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Location: Maine, the Other White State.
hah!
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Old 05-09-2004, 06:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: with Rubyee
all that for a duck
ha ha!
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Old 05-11-2004, 04:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
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wow, nothing like local custom...
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Old 05-11-2004, 08:45 AM   #6 (permalink)
no one special
 
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Location: Charlotte, NC
That is great I have the whole office laughing
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Old 05-11-2004, 12:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks, that made my day.
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Old 05-17-2004, 10:23 AM   #8 (permalink)
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hahaha.

In elementary school, I remember we would have contests on who could hit the softest. So you let the other person hit you, and they would try to hit lightly. Then when it's your turn, you slug him. Then you say, "I guess you win!"
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Old 05-24-2004, 06:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Central Illinois
That is hillarious! Gotta love country guys!
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