Church

The Guys' Rules (a.k.a. the CODE)

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story (I must admit, it's pretty good).

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Live by them!

Please note... these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE! Every rule is as important as the next!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's
like camping.

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Through counter-intelligence, it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble makers, and neutralize them.

slimshaydee

aint that the truth

Reese

Haha #1 is awesome!

"If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one." hahahaha

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“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

PayUp

Its like camping, perfect.

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Born to Lose.

Schwan

So many of them, so right...

Merlocke

Another one I saw from a similar list, but is relative to taste.

1. Never EVER cut your hair super short. Most guys like girls with long hair, and in fact this is the reason that many

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-=[ Merlocke ]=-

Merlocke

Another one I saw from a similar list, but is relative to taste.

1. Girls: Never EVER cut your hair super short. Most guys like girls with long hair, and in fact this is the reason that many guys are afraid of getting married. They're scared that you'll cut your hair and be stuck with you.

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-=[ Merlocke ]=-

qtpye4u84

Hello... this one is the only one that I thought was not so important.
.1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

A lot of guys these days put it down anyway or just pee with it down and wipe off the pee.

I as the only girl in my house when I was younger no mom, Fell into the toilet and got all wet in the middle of the night cause we females sit when we pee and just are used to it being down.

I don't minde it up,just not at night cause I hate having to go and take a shower in the middle of the night,cause I fell in the toilet cause it was dark and my eyes were not adjusted yet.

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The QTpie

tehhappyboy

My mom taught me this early to get along with women. I still have issues with it. Which one takes priority. I guess guys don't whine as much so it's easier for them to deal.
A friend of mine described it as an efficiency thing. Women always need the seat down, men need it down half time time (I Disagree with this statistic, but I digress) so 3/4 of the time (says he) makes it most efficient to always leave it down.

y.m.m.v.

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I'm a happy boy, happy boy,
way to get when things are going your way. Hey Hey.

...Pretty sure I asked for Pecan Sandies...

FFT

I liked 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, and 1.

But this one in particular:

FaderMonkey

I can't point one out as being my fav. There are so my awesome ones!!

small one

Being a married man, I daren't comment on this post.




BUT THEY ARE ALL TRUE

tritium

The seat stays in its full, upright and locked position at all times in my bachelor's pad dammit.

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Blah.