The Wife - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Nomad · 05-07-2003, 12:45 PM

A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with
another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she
dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his
penis in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the
handle.

Next she picked up a hacksaw.

The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to
cut it off are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, handed him the saw and said, "Nope" I'm going to set the garage on fire."

YELLOW450 · 05-07-2003, 12:50 PM

ohhhh that hurts!!!!!!!!!!

fizzledorf · 05-07-2003, 12:59 PM

oh man, wouldn't you rather die?

Emotion · 05-07-2003, 02:15 PM

i think i would have to allow myself to be burned

bryanzera · 05-07-2003, 02:23 PM

that was pretty funny ... thanks for sharing!

Minx · 05-07-2003, 02:30 PM

Ohhhhh hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

Nhanced1 · 05-07-2003, 04:34 PM

OMG Ouch! nooooo!!

Id slowly cook while i tried to saw through the vice..

Destrox · 05-07-2003, 05:19 PM

i'd cut the wooden table that the vice is most likely hooked up to

or

manipulate the saw in some manor to be able to turn the vice to open

but dammmn that bitch had it in for him

hotzot · 05-07-2003, 06:42 PM

I think the husband is doing pornos now.

crackpot · 05-07-2003, 07:35 PM

Some McGyver-type thinking here, funny!

tripp · 05-07-2003, 07:58 PM

I'm pretty sure that in some culture, that was punishment for rape... they would nail your balls to the floor of a hut, hand your a knife, and set it on fire.

mturner333 · 05-08-2003, 08:30 AM

CUT IT OFF, PLEASE CUT IT OFF!!!! haha

ARTelevision · 05-08-2003, 08:52 AM

I guess this guy didn't expect The Spanish Inquisition.

Sometimes it pays to expect The Spanish Inquisition.

bender · 05-08-2003, 09:58 AM

I would only hope that guy worked well under pressure

zaiaz · 05-08-2003, 10:13 AM

Hey quick tell her to give you the pvc cutters they are quicker.

JStrider · 05-08-2003, 10:23 AM

yowsa thats terrible!!!

Sparky · 05-08-2003, 12:28 PM

Good one, tough decision.

uffjohn · 05-08-2003, 12:30 PM

hahaha love the fiendishness

forgotten_dream · 05-09-2003, 02:25 AM

Yeah! Mad Max style revenge!!!

small one · 05-10-2003, 01:49 AM

It would have to be a small saw to cut my pecker off

CSflim · 05-10-2003, 03:37 AM

Good Lord! That doesn't bear thinking about! Excellent Joke!

Mad_Gecko · 05-10-2003, 08:17 AM

Moral of the Story:
Always have a detached garage.

Made me

duckduck · 05-10-2003, 10:32 AM

LMAO!

Reminds me of Mad Max, only MUCH more painful.

jukaman · 05-10-2003, 11:40 AM

ROFL i'd get a super human act of strength and pull the table with me out the garage.

TerresqueÜ · 05-10-2003, 12:00 PM

Ahhhh!!!! Nooo!!!!!!! It's the ultimate in cruel ultimatums! Don't get any ideas girls...

05-07-2003, 12:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
Nomad Heathen Location: California	The Wife A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged her husband down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband terrified, screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, handed him the saw and said, "Nope" I'm going to set the garage on fire."

05-07-2003, 02:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
Minx Junkie Location: Up yonder	Ohhhhh hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! __________________ You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

05-07-2003, 04:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
Nhanced1 Insane Location: Tucson, AZ	OMG Ouch! nooooo!! Id slowly cook while i tried to saw through the vice.. __________________ "Sell Crazy Somewhere Else, We're All Stocked Up Here," Jack Nicholson - As Good As It Gets

05-07-2003, 05:19 PM	#8 (permalink)
Destrox Metal and Rock 4 Life Location: Phoenix	i'd cut the wooden table that the vice is most likely hooked up to or manipulate the saw in some manor to be able to turn the vice to open but dammmn that bitch had it in for him __________________ You bore me.... next.

05-07-2003, 06:42 PM	#9 (permalink)
hotzot We're having potato pancakes! Location: stalag 13	I think the husband is doing pornos now. __________________ The Bully Boys are here!

05-07-2003, 12:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
YELLOW450 Tilted	ohhhh that hurts!!!!!!!!!!

05-07-2003, 12:59 PM	#3 (permalink)
fizzledorf Insane	oh man, wouldn't you rather die?

05-07-2003, 02:15 PM	#4 (permalink)
Emotion Crazy	i think i would have to allow myself to be burned

05-07-2003, 02:23 PM	#5 (permalink)
bryanzera Crazy Location: Fresno, CA	that was pretty funny ... thanks for sharing!

05-07-2003, 07:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
crackpot Junkie Location: Montreal	Some McGyver-type thinking here, funny!

05-07-2003, 07:58 PM	#11 (permalink)
tripp Upright	I'm pretty sure that in some culture, that was punishment for rape... they would nail your balls to the floor of a hut, hand your a knife, and set it on fire.

05-08-2003, 08:30 AM	#12 (permalink)
mturner333 Upright Location: In Front of My PC	CUT IT OFF, PLEASE CUT IT OFF!!!! haha

05-08-2003, 08:52 AM	#13 (permalink)
ARTelevision I change Location: USA	I guess this guy didn't expect The Spanish Inquisition. Sometimes it pays to expect The Spanish Inquisition. __________________ create evolution

05-08-2003, 09:58 AM	#14 (permalink)
bender Addict Location: around the corner	I would only hope that guy worked well under pressure

05-08-2003, 10:13 AM	#15 (permalink)
zaiaz Psycho Location: State of confusion...wait that's medication.	Hey quick tell her to give you the pvc cutters they are quicker. __________________ Self destruction - "Its my Nature", said the Scorpion...

05-08-2003, 10:23 AM	#16 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	yowsa thats terrible!!! __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

05-08-2003, 12:28 PM	#17 (permalink)
Sparky Crazy	Good one, tough decision. __________________ "I had never really thought about it before," Det. Dern said. "But obviously, giving an elephant an enema can be a very dangerous activity and not something that should be attempted alone."

05-09-2003, 02:25 AM	#19 (permalink)
forgotten_dream Psycho	Yeah! Mad Max style revenge!!! __________________ "A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone."

05-10-2003, 08:17 AM	#22 (permalink)
Mad_Gecko Pro Libertate Location: City Gecko	Moral of the Story: Always have a detached garage. Made me __________________ [color=bright blue]W[/color]e Stick To Glass "If three of us travel together, I shall find two teachers." Confucious

05-08-2003, 12:30 PM	#18 (permalink)
uffjohn Crazy	hahaha love the fiendishness

05-10-2003, 01:49 AM	#20 (permalink)
small one Banned Location: York	It would have to be a small saw to cut my pecker off

05-10-2003, 03:37 AM	#21 (permalink)
CSflim Sky Piercer Location: Ireland	Good Lord! That doesn't bear thinking about! Excellent Joke! __________________

05-10-2003, 10:32 AM	#23 (permalink)
duckduck Psycho Location: Where hockey pucks run rampant	LMAO! Reminds me of Mad Max, only MUCH more painful. __________________ Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!

05-10-2003, 11:40 AM	#24 (permalink)
jukaman Crazy	ROFL i'd get a super human act of strength and pull the table with me out the garage.

05-10-2003, 12:00 PM	#25 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Ahhhh!!!! Nooo!!!!!!! It's the ultimate in cruel ultimatums! Don't get any ideas girls... __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition