My dick is so big.....
 

The idea for this thread originates from a great series of jokes written by Drew Carey in his "Dirty Jokes and Beer" book and a (hopefully) photo-shopped pic I just saw in Nonsense.

Carey's got a whole chapter called 101 Big-Dick Jokes basically comprised of ones that he and his buddies have come up with - all follow the pattern "My dick is so big that....." (Similar to the "Yo mamma's so fat..." jokes). Thought it might be a good idea for a thread to see how much wit we have out there in the masses.

I'll give you a couple to get started and post more later as I have time - let's see what you've got:


My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.

My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbour.

My dick takes longer lunches than I do.

My dick is so big it was once overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.

My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

(i'll put the one i posted on fark when they did this...)

my dick is so big, it's got its own agent and publicist.

This makes me laugh.


My dick is so big, I use it for mid-day shade.

Finally a thread I can identify with…

My dick is so big, my dick has its own dick, and even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.

That's what my wife says... hmmm... I think it was a crack a me though...

CP, I just hafta say this... I LOVE YOUR AVATAR!!

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=26988
:lol:

My dick is so big, Bush declared it a weapon of mass destruction.

My dick is so big, Bush declared it a weapon of mass distraction.

My dick is so big I pee sitting in the living room, and I use it to flush.

Wow, you guys should sword fight!

My dick is so big I use a garbage can as a condom

Well done, Slauncha Man - lol.

Some more from Carey:

My dick is so big, I went to the Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand there and argue with the doorman.

My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.

My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.

My dick is so big, I entered it in a big dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.

My dick is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run.

My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob. (One of my personal favourites)

my dick is so big, its a national monument

Thanks!

I wish I could say the same about yours... but as far as naked guys go... I guess that one is pretty good... ... .. this is just a no win situtation here... :lol:

My Dick is so big, it drains the blood out of YOUR head!

My dick is so big that I dont even need a tv remote

My dick is so big popcorn at the movies comes in four sizes, small medium, large and my dick.

my dick is so big, I can fuck a black hole.

my dick is so big, it gives the Washington Monument feelings of inadequacy.

my dick is so big, I have to make an appointment with its secretary if I want to jerk off.

my dick is so big, I can fuck elevator shafts.

my dick is so big, it was invovled in the Big Bang.

my dick is so big, its cult of worshippers is now the 3rd largest religion on the planet.

my dick is so big, Bill Gates named Longhorn after it.

my dick is so big, it affects the tides.

my dick is so big, it has its own moon. (two of them, actually)

My Dick is so big, I lost a leg and didn't even notice it.


My Richard is so big, it gets mad when I call it Dick


My Dick is so big, I got arrested for carrying a concealed weapon

My dick is so big they have three sizes at the movie theatre, small,medium, large and my dick.

Uh.. yeah.. wow.

MY DICK IS SO BIG, THERE IS A LAW ON THE BOOKS THAT WHENEVER YOU WRITE ABOUT MY DICK THAT YOU MUST TYPE IN ALL CAPS.

MY DICK IS SO BIG THAT IT HAS 3 SMALLER DICK ORBITING AROUND IT.

My dick is so big, I'm listed as an organ donor twice on my driver's license.

My dick is so big, I can call John Holmes "peewee".

My dick is so big, Halx looks at it and says, "That's a big dick."

OMGROFLMFAO :lol::lol::lol:

My dick is so big, my dick has its own dick, and even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.

:lol:

They are all great.

My dick is so big that it's...no, its not that big. Damn.

I was quoting Slauncha Man.

I don't know why it didn't highlight.

Funny stuff..great thread.

My Dick is so big... even the biggest ant in the anthill is jealous.

My dick is so big...I won a silver medal pole vaulting, if id had an erection it would have been gold.

My Dick is so big, they used it as a stunt double in the movie Anacondria


My Dick is so big, women run in terror


My Dick is so big, don't ask about the size of my balls


My Dick is so big, an elephant is tight


My Dick is so big, it has it's own weight set.

My dick is so big, it IS a weight set.

MY DICK IS SO BIG, I ONCE HAD SEX WITH A DUNKEN DOUGHNUTS BILLBOARD AND RUINED IT FOR OTHER LARGE DICKS!

My dick is so big that every time I move I have to register it with the local law enforcement as a concealed weapon.

The only two things that can be seen from space is the Great Wall of China, and my dick.

My dick is so big that I made King Kong go crying back to the jungle...

My dick is so big that when I fuck the Chunnel in Paris the rain in London gets my tip wet.

My dick is so big, I can tell you the temperature of the outer atmosphere.

My dick is so big, when the gods play baseball, it is the bat.