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Old 05-07-2003, 10:01 AM   #1 (permalink)
pinche vato
 
warrrreagl's Avatar
 
Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
25 Things You'll Never Hear in The South

1. Let's wash the car.

2. Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?

3. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

4. You can't feed that to the dog.

5. Yes, you may borrow my Vonnegut.

6. No kids in the back of the pickup!

7. Wrasslin's fake.

8. That Civil War documentary was excellent.

9. That aroma? I'm baking fresh bagels.

10. I've got a problem with people who still fly the Confederate flag.

11. Here are my keys, I'm too drunk to drive.

12. Baby... Those jeans are too tight.

13. Don't tie it on top of the car.

14. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

15. Trim the fat off that steak.

16. Why'd you cut the sleeves off your t-shirt?

17. Don't spray primer there...

18. Put that dog on a leash!

19. New York City's an ideal place to vacation.

20. My mobile home is clean AND storm proof.

21. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

22. I wouldn't drive an American make if you paid me.

23. I ain't riding with you unless both headlights work.

24. It's January, take the Christmas lights down.

25. Checkmate!
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Old 05-07-2003, 12:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
Tilted
 
absolutely true, every bit of it.
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Old 05-10-2003, 03:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
Insane
 
so true! native southerner here
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Old 05-10-2003, 03:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
Hiding Out
 
"Checkmate!" That's the best one!
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Old 05-10-2003, 06:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Old times there are not forgotten!
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Old 05-12-2003, 12:04 AM   #6 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: New Orleans
I don't know whether to laugh or cry seeing as I'm sittin in the South.
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Old 05-12-2003, 05:36 AM   #7 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Columbia Falls, MT
#26. I can't have sex with her, she's my cousin.
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Old 05-12-2003, 06:39 AM   #8 (permalink)
Loser
 
#27. The last 4 words in the Star Spangled Banner; Gentlemen,start your engine's.
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Old 05-12-2003, 01:14 PM   #9 (permalink)
Pro Libertate
 
Location: City Gecko
#28 Hell no, we aint goin' ta Vegas ta git married, that place's tacky.

#29 Like my new Lexus?

#30 Boar skins ain't for hangin' on stop signs - (I seen it done)

#31 It ain't fair to shoot the Deer when it's in the headlights.

#32 Why sure I'll remove the shotgun from my rear window rack.
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Old 05-12-2003, 03:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: British Columbia
heheh, good ones
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Old 05-12-2003, 10:03 PM   #11 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: Dayton
33. I'll take Classic English Literature for 400, Alex.
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Old 05-13-2003, 07:44 AM   #12 (permalink)
pinche vato
 
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Location: backwater, Third World, land of cotton
34. Honey, that faster driver behind me wants to get by, so I'll just pull over and let him.
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Old 05-13-2003, 10:41 AM   #13 (permalink)
alpaca lunch for the trip
 
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Location: in my computer
hahaha....geez, it was good to see a native southerner even laugh at this one. good stuff!
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:19 AM   #14 (permalink)
absolute relativist
 
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Location: D.C.
very funny. thanks
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